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having a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit in modern world

having a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit in modern world 2rdkJ
these days having a healthy lifestyle is one of the most crucial goals of the modern society. this aim is accepted by the most people; this people are devided into two diverse groups, on one hand there is a believe which says being healthy and keeping fit and in shape is a simple task to do, on the other hand there are people who find having an ideal diet and health condition more challenging. but which group is right? as a member of the society I personally agree with the second attitude. the idea which believes 'keeping healthy as a lifestyle is an easy thing to do' may be too optimestic since, although it depends on each person personality, most of us prefer to sit and rest and eat junk foods rather than thinking about body health and counting colories for each food! that is because of humen ego and cannot be denied. however, people can try to stay active by forcing themselves to move instead of losing infront of inner self! as a result, we can prevent lots of common diseases in the society which are due to obesity, like diabeties and heart failures. in conclusion, I believe in that although keeping fit and active all the time and eating well is a quiet tough yet challenging goal to achieve for most of the people, people, at least, should make an effort to protect their bodies against gaining excess weight and the the problems which come by the obesity.
these
days having a healthy lifestyle is one of the most crucial goals of the modern society.
this
aim is
accepted
by the most
people
; this
people
are
devided
into two diverse groups, on one hand there is a
believe
which says being healthy and keeping fit and in shape is a simple task to do,
on the other hand
there are
people
who find having an ideal diet and health condition more challenging.
but
which group is right?
as
a member of the society I
personally
agree
with the second attitude.
the
idea
which believes 'keeping healthy as a lifestyle is an easy thing to do' may be too
optimestic
since, although it depends on each person personality, most of us prefer to sit and rest and eat junk foods
rather
than thinking about body health and counting
colories
for each food!
that
is
because
of
humen
ego and cannot
be denied
.
however
,
people
can try to stay active by forcing themselves to
move
instead
of losing
infront
of inner self!
as
a result, we can
prevent
lots of common diseases in the society which are due to obesity, like
diabeties
and heart failures.
in
conclusion, I believe in that although keeping fit and active all the time and eating well is a quiet tough
yet
challenging goal to achieve for most of the
people
,
people
, at least, should
make
an effort to protect their bodies against gaining excess weight and
the the
problems which
come
by the obesity.
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IELTS essay having a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit in modern world

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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