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Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job. To what extent do you agree?

According to the datum that we are living in the revolutionized world. Some people argue that when they have a university degree they have a good job opportunities. Personally, I cannot entirely agree with the statement that university degree guarantees people a good job. I think the only qualification is not required to secure a job; many other things are also necessary. So I will discuss my point of view for this issue. First and foremost, I would like to point out that sometimes qualified person fail to get employment while others get the job who haven’t a proper degree. Referring to this situation, I can easily say that a university degree provides people with a theoretical information about their professions. But practical training makes people more confident and experienced when they face challenges in working environment. For example, Suppose that there are 2 candidates, one of them has graduated from university in this year and the other does not have a university degree, but he has experience. In extreme cases, there will be an experienced person hired. On the other hand, one of the major factor is communication skills, confidence and critical thinking. People who are graduated from university but he or she doesn’t have enough communication skills or critical thinking about their qualifications they can’t get the good employment opportunities among the competitors. Because they will fail when they try to explain datum or ideas for company. By the way it is transparent that Employers always analyze their employees about how they solve the problems? To sum up, having a university degree will put you ahead in this competitive environment, but just having it doesn't guarantee people a good job. According to my perception, both university degrees and practical knowledge are equally important.
According to the datum that we are living in the revolutionized world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that when they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
Personally
, I cannot
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
guarantees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
qualification is not required to secure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things are
also
necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will discuss my point of view for this issue.

First
and foremost, I would like to point out that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
qualified person fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
who haven’t a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. Referring to this situation, I can
easily
say that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a theoretical information about their professions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
practical training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more confident and experienced when they face challenges in working environment.
For example
, Suppose that there are 2 candidates, one of them has graduated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in this year and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
does not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he has experience. In extreme cases, there will be an experienced person hired.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, one of the major factor is communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, confidence and critical thinking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
are graduated
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he or she doesn’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or critical thinking about their qualifications they can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
employment opportunities among the competitors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they will fail when they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
datum or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. By the way it is transparent that Employers always analyze their employees about how they solve the problems?

To sum up, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
will put you ahead in this competitive environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having it doesn't guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. According to my perception, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
and practical knowledge are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

IELTS essay Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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