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Have you been to the coffee shop in your area?

Have you been to the coffee shop in your area? peLew
Last month, I had a trip to Da Lat with my best friends. I accidentally saw a dreamy coffee shop and I am attracted by the beauty of the shop. It has a special name "A Place Like No Other". This shop is designed in Hong Kong style in 90s. The service was very wonderful because the waiters or the waitress were enthusiastic. If you have any matter, they will help you as soon as possible. Furthermore, this coffee shop has lots of good drinks and foods. Especially, I was addicted to a beverage and it called" Iced Latte". I also tried with tiramisu cake and it was very tasty. After enjoy the moment in this shop, I had to went home. In my opinion, this coffee shop was absolutely great and I don't know the word to describe about it. The reasons make me love it so much is the scenery, cost and atmosphere in there. I was delighted because I had a wonderful time and I highly recommend it.
Last month, I had a trip to
Da
Lat with my best friends. I
accidentally
saw
a dreamy coffee
shop and
I
am attracted
by the beauty of the
shop
. It has a special name
"
A Place Like No Other
"
. This
shop
is designed
in Hong Kong style in 90s. The service was
very
wonderful
because
the waiters or the waitress were enthusiastic. If you have any matter, they will
help
you as
soon
as possible.
Furthermore
, this coffee
shop
has lots of
good
drinks and foods.
Especially
, I
was addicted
to a beverage and it called
"
Iced Latte
"
. I
also
tried with tiramisu cake and it was
very
tasty. After enjoy the moment in this
shop
, I had to went home. In my opinion, this coffee
shop
was
absolutely
great and I don't know the word to
describe
about it. The reasons
make
me
love
it
so
much is the scenery, cost and atmosphere in there. I
was delighted
because
I had a wonderful time and I
highly
recommend it.
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IELTS essay Have you been to the coffee shop in your area?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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