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have had a keen interest in mathematics, and programming fields since I was in high school. This interest has become a passion after graduation. For this reason, I studied programming languages such as SQL, C#, and SPSS. I did some analytics work which helped the business where I used to work to achieve an ISO certificate in 2012. Rec

have had a keen interest in mathematics, and programming fields since I was in high school. This interest has become a passion after graduation. For this reason, I studied programming languages such as SQL, C#, and SPSS. I did some analytics work which helped the business where I used to work to achieve an ISO certificate in 2012. Rec yQkP
have had a keen interest in mathematics, and programming fields since I was in high school. This interest has become a passion after graduation. For this reason, I studied programming languages such as SQL, C#, and SPSS. I did some analytics work which helped the business where I used to work to achieve an ISO certificate in 2012. Recently, I have supported the company where I work now in delivering many applications for many brands such as Costa and Slim chicken. I received a team award for this in 2020. I am confident that doing this masters’ degree at this university will be a tremendous advance in my career. Data Science is the career of the future. Industries are becoming data-driven, and innovations are being made every day. The field of technology has become dynamic, and with more and more people interacting with the internet, more data is being generated. Thus, as a data scientist, I can work across a range of industries and sectors such as healthcare and pharmaceutical, financial services, manufacturing, logistics, telecommunications, automotive, and NEGO. I have a background in both business and data analysis fields. I also have a deep curiosity to learn more programming languages such as Python, R, and different data analytics tools. Therefore the Data science is a promising career for someone like me. This enthusiasm is what brought me to apply for an MS in Data Science at Albany University. Honestly, being a graduate with a master's degree from a premier public research university such as Albany is the perfect fit for me. After graduation, I am aiming to work as a Skilled Data scientist to help businesses in making decisions, solving complex problems, and creating strategies to improve results and performance. Furthermore, I always have had a dream to work in non-government organizations such as the United Nations where I can help in both saving millions of lives and improving living conditions for poor nations. Non-profits organizations use analytics to boost their fundraising efforts, measure and monitor the impact of their activities, build predictive models, optimize the allocation of funds. Thus, I will have an excellent opportunity to work at the UN after graduation. This will be the greatest achievement I have ever done in my life. In long run, I have a plan to get my Ph. D. degree and to work as a business consultant. As stated above, I have built a strong foundation for myself through my study and working experience but now I wish to take it further and claim complete proficiency in this field. I believe that for this, acquiring an MS in Data Science is a step in the right direction. This is exactly what probed me to pursue a master's in Data Science and I am certain that this will be the stepping stone towards the heights that I wish to reach in the field of Data Science.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
had a keen interest in mathematics, and programming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
since I was in high school. This interest has become a passion after graduation.
For this reason
, I studied programming languages such as SQL, C#, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
SPSS
. I did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
analytics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to achieve an ISO certificate in 2012. Recently, I have supported the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in delivering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
brands such as Costa and Slim chicken. I received a team award for this in 2020. I am confident that doing this masters’ degree at this university will be a tremendous advance in my career.

Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is the career of the future. Industries are becoming data-driven, and innovations are
being made
every day. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of technology has become dynamic, and with more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
interacting with the internet, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is
being generated
.
Thus
, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
scientist, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
across a range of industries and sectors such as healthcare and pharmaceutical, financial services, manufacturing, logistics, telecommunications, automotive, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
NEGO
. I have a background in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
. I
also
have a deep curiosity to learn more programming languages such as Python, R, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analytics tools.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is a promising career for someone like me. This enthusiasm is what brought me to apply for an MS in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
at Albany University.
Honestly
, being a graduate with a master's degree from a premier public research university such as Albany is the perfect fit for me.

After graduation, I am aiming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a Skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
scientist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
in making decisions, solving complex problems, and creating strategies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
results and performance.
Furthermore
, I always have had a dream to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organizations such as the United Nations where I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in both saving millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and improving living conditions for poor nations. Non-profits organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
analytics to boost their fundraising efforts, measure and monitor the impact of their activities, build predictive models, optimize the allocation of funds.
Thus
, I will have an excellent opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the UN after graduation. This will be the greatest achievement I have ever done in my life. In long run, I have a plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
my
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "Ph.D.".
Ph. D.
degree and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
consultant.

As stated above, I have built a strong foundation for myself through my study and working experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I wish to take it
further
and claim complete proficiency in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. I believe that for this, acquiring an MS in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is a step in the right direction. This is exactly what probed me to pursue a master's in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Science and
I am certain that this will be the stepping stone towards the heights that I wish to reach in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
.
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IELTS essay have had a keen interest in mathematics, and programming fields since I was in high school. This interest has become a passion after graduation. For this reason, I studied programming languages such as SQL, C#, and SPSS. I did some analytics work which helped the business where I used to work to achieve an ISO certificate in 2012. Rec

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
484 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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