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Governmets should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

Governmets should spend money on railways rather than roads. ljeGD
In recent years, governments focus on improving the quality of living such as communication, transportation, health facilities etc. so that the citizens can lead a better life. Hence, the government should spend money on railways rather than roads. I totally agree with the statement because traveling by railways is faster and more beneficial to the environment. First of all, railways don’t depend on the traffic and it can carry a large number of people. People travel mainly for going to school or to work. As railways can carry many people compared to other vehicles and nothing to disrupt its speed, it is a faster medium of transportation compared to roads. It is a very good way to travel in developed countries. A recent study found out that 90% of people prefer railway service in developed countries as it is faster and people can reach their destination before the time. Another point is railways don’t emit carbon which is very harmful for our environment and resulted in global warming. Many vehicles burn fuels such as gasoline which produce a big proportion of carbon and carbon is one of the major elements that affect global warming. A recent study on global warming found that the climate is changing rapidly due to the increased amount of carbon produced by numerous vehicles. So, railways are better in this function as it doesn’t produce carbon which can be an advantage for our environment. To sum up, railways are better transportation medium and government should spend money on this sector as it is more faster and environment friendly.
In recent years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
focus on improving the quality of living such as communication, transportation, health facilities etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the citizens can lead a better life.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
rather
than roads. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
traveling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faster
and more beneficial to the environment.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
don’t depend on the traffic and it can carry
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
travel
mainly
for going to school or to work. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
can carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compared to other vehicles and nothing to disrupt its speed, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faster
medium of transportation compared to roads. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to travel in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. A recent study found out that 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
service in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
as it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faster
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach their destination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the time.

Another point is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
don’t emit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for our environment and resulted in global warming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
vehicles burn fuels such as gasoline which produce a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
is one of the major elements that affect global warming. A recent study on global warming found that the climate is changing
rapidly
due to the increased amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
produced by numerous vehicles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are better in this function as it doesn’t produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
which can be an advantage for our environment.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are better transportation medium and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on this sector as it is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faster
and environment friendly.
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IELTS essay Governmets should spend money on railways rather than roads.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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