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Governments should spend more on supporting art. Others believe it is better to spend more on health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Governments should spend more on supporting art. Others believe it is better to spend more on health and education. kWwJe
People have different views about the money should be invested in improving health and education instead of art. I firmly believe that education and medical systems should get more priority compared to art. On the one hand, art should be invested because it plays an important role in educating people about cultures, traditions and artistic value. For example, art galleries and museums help people understand their own culture and broaden their horizons. Moreover, art also attracts tourists and helps enhance the economy. Take the Louvre museum in Paris as an example, this museum attracts tourists from many countries and brings a range of benefits for the economy. On the other hand, education and health should be financed more due to their importance. Firstly, reinforcing the education system ensures that every citizen can acquire knowledge and contribute to their country. In addition, education also helps alleviate poverty in isolated areas as people can come up with the ideas to start a business or get a good job. Secondly, funding for public health services helps improve the quality of life, especially in remote regions. It helps individuals to access medical and treatment at low cost and it is beneficial for the old people and people with a minimum income. For example, constructing medical stations helps the ill easily have a correct diagnosis and save their money. In conclusion, I completely agree that education and health need to be invested more because they are basic needs, which helps develop every aspect of their life, before financing art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the money should
be invested
in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and medical systems should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more priority compared to art.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should
be invested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about cultures, traditions and artistic value.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries and museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture and broaden their horizons.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
also
attracts tourists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
enhance the economy. Take the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Louvre museum
in Paris as an example, this museum attracts tourists from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries and brings a range of benefits for the economy.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
should
be financed
more due to their importance.
Firstly
, reinforcing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system ensures that every citizen can acquire knowledge and contribute to their country.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
alleviate poverty in isolated areas as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
Secondly
, funding for public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life,
especially
in remote regions. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
individuals to access medical and treatment at low cost and it is beneficial for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a minimum income.
For example
, constructing medical stations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the ill
easily
have a correct diagnosis and save their money.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
need to
be invested
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are basic needs, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
develop every aspect of their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
financing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
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IELTS essay Governments should spend more on supporting art. Others believe it is better to spend more on health and education.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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