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Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? KKok
It is often argued that are more advantages to build a railway compared with renovated or constructed a new road in order to utilize the government budget. I partly disagree with this opinion and think that it all depends on where and the needs of each location. First, when the government spends money on the place which has a low population and long transport distance due to the fact of the gravel way or frequently called as off-road that must be delayed time. It is more beneficial to construct a new road that might be impacted on travel speed. For example, on the hinterland specifically Tanjung Uban, the small city which located in the Province of Riau Island, by built a new way will make easier to the local there, in order to transport from one place to another. Moreover, it might be helped to intensify their earning. That's why it is more important to prefer on built a new road rather than a railway which must be helpful for some places. On the other hand, I believe that the government must know what kind of development has an enormous effect on each specific city or maybe province. Furthermore, if the place has a problematic in dense population and also a traffic jam. Even if the government keeps focusing on constructing a new road or enlarge it, this thing will not have a huge impact. For instance, it is taking place in Jakarta City, which is well known for its huge population and renowned with congestion, enlarging the road is useless owing to the fact that every year this city experienced in growth of citizens. Thus, it is more beneficial to construct a new railway rather than a new road. To conclude, strongly believe that the government budget is going to be beneficial by a critical view for a huge effect ahead.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that are more advantages to build a railway compared with renovated or constructed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
in order to utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget. I partly disagree with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it all depends on where and the needs of each location.

First
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which has a low population and long transport distance due to the fact of the gravel way or
frequently
called as off-road that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be delayed
time. It is more beneficial to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
that might
be impacted
on travel speed.
For example
, on the hinterland
specifically
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tanjung
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uban
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
city which located in the Province of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Riau
Island, by built a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
way will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easier to the local there, in order to transport from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another.
Moreover
, it might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to intensify their earning. That's why it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to prefer on built a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
rather
than a railway which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be helpful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places.

On the other hand
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know what kind of development has an enormous effect on each specific city or maybe province.
Furthermore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
has a problematic in dense population and
also
a traffic jam. Even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
focusing on constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
or enlarge it, this thing will not have a huge impact.
For instance
, it is taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in Jakarta City, which is well known for its huge population and renowned with congestion, enlarging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is useless owing to the fact that every year this city experienced in growth of citizens.
Thus
, it is more beneficial to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
To conclude
,
strongly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget is going to be beneficial by a critical view for a huge effect ahead.
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IELTS essay Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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