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Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? 0RW1
It is often argued that is more advantages to built a railways compared with renovated or constructed a new road in order to utilize the government budget. I partly disagree with this opinion and think that is all depend on where and the needs of each location. First of all, when the government spend money on the place which has a low population and long transport distance because of the gravel way or often called as off road that must be delayed time. It is more beneficial to construct a new road that might be impacted on travel speed. For example, on the hinterland specifically Tanjung Uban, the small city which located in the Province of Riau Island, by built a new way will make easier to the local there, in order to transport from one place to another. Moreover, it might be helped to intensify their earning. That's why it is more important to prefer on built a new road rather than a railways which must be helpful for some places. On the other hand, I believe that the government must be know what kind of development which has an enormous effect for each specific city or maybe province. Furthermore, if the place has a problematic in dense population and also a traffic jam. Even if the government keep focusing on constructing a new road or enlarge it, this thing will not has a huge impact. For instance, it is tooked place in Jakarta City, which is well known by its huge population and renowned with a congestion, enlarging the road is useless because every year this city experienced in a growth of citizens. Thus, it is more beneficial to construct a new railway rather than a new road. To conclude, strongly believe that government budget is going to be beneficial by a critical view for a huge effect ahead.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued
that is
more advantages
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a railway" or simply "railways"?
a railways
compared with renovated or constructed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
in order to utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget. I partly disagree with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
all depend on where and the needs of each location.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spend money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which has a low population and long transport distance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the gravel way or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
called as off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be delayed
time. It is more beneficial to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
that might
be impacted
on travel speed.
For example
, on the hinterland
specifically
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tanjung
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uban
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
city which located in the Province of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Riau
Island, by built a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
way will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easier to the local there, in order to transport from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another.
Moreover
, it might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to intensify their earning. That's why it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to prefer on built a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
rather
than
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a railway" or simply "railways"?
a railways
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be helpful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
On the other hand
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using a past participle here: "known".
know
what kind of development which has an enormous effect for each specific city or maybe province.
Furthermore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
has a problematic in dense population and
also
a traffic jam. Even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
focusing on constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
or enlarge it, this thing will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
a huge impact.
For instance
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
tooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in Jakarta City, which is well known by its huge population and renowned with a congestion, enlarging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is useless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every year this city experienced in a growth of citizens.
Thus
, it is more beneficial to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
To conclude
,
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget is going to be beneficial by a critical view for a huge effect ahead.
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IELTS essay Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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