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Governments round the world spend too much money n treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Governments round the world spend too much money n treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. bLRW
In recent years, cons budget is used for treating illnesses and diseases, rather than on health education and its prevention. I staunchly agree with the statement that, if money is used for educating people in health sector, it will substantially reduce the amount to be spend on treatments. Primarily, modern diseases are mainly because of unhealthy lifestyle. Nowadays, majority of people are working from home, as a result of pandemic, therefore, because of this sedentary lifestyle it will lead to obesity or cardiac issues. To curb this, people should be educated about its adverse ramifications that can have because of such poor lifestyle. In addition, people should be encouraged to daily exercise, as it is most effective idea to have healthy lifestyle. Therefore, if people are aware about its worst consequences, this will reduce cost of treatment at a later stage. Hence, following healthy lifestyle is advised to lessen cost on treatments. Secondly, poor diet has failed person to relish healthy lifestyle. Therefore, campaigns and sessions must be held by government to follow balanced diet, which will alleviate money spent on curing disease. This is because, nowadays food products are made with artificial ingredients, which give rise to illnesses that are unheard. On the contrary, there are disease like cancer and AIDS which require treatment with unbearable cost, which affects people with awful financial conditions. Consequently, government must support people for their treatments. Thus, 9if people have knowledge about type and quality of food they should consume, this will certainly reduce cost on curing such diseases. To conclude, although government support is required for treatments of some diseases, it is favorable to educate people about healthy lifestyle. This is because, preventing any illness at initial stage will save colossal amount of money at later stage and hence, it can used for some other sectors.
In recent years, cons budget is
used
for treating illnesses and
diseases
,
rather
than on health education and its prevention. I
staunchly
agree
with the statement that, if money is
used
for educating
people
in health sector, it will
substantially
reduce
the amount to be
spend
on treatments.

Primarily
, modern
diseases
are
mainly
because
of unhealthy
lifestyle
. Nowadays,
majority of
people
are working from home,
as a result
of pandemic,
therefore
,
because of this
sedentary
lifestyle
it will lead to obesity or cardiac issues. To curb this,
people
should
be educated
about its adverse ramifications that can have
because
of such poor
lifestyle
.
In addition
,
people
should
be encouraged
to daily exercise, as it is
most
effective
idea
to have
healthy
lifestyle
.
Therefore
, if
people
are aware about its worst consequences, this will
reduce
cost
of
treatment
at a later stage.
Hence
, following
healthy
lifestyle
is advised
to lessen
cost
on treatments.

Secondly
, poor diet has failed person to relish
healthy
lifestyle
.
Therefore
, campaigns and sessions
must
be held
by
government
to follow balanced diet, which will alleviate money spent on curing
disease
. This is
because
, nowadays food products
are made
with artificial ingredients, which give rise to illnesses that are unheard.
On the contrary
, there are
disease
like cancer and AIDS which require
treatment
with unbearable
cost
, which affects
people
with awful financial conditions.
Consequently
,
government
must
support
people
for their
treatments
.
Thus
, 9if
people
have knowledge about type and quality of food they should consume, this will
certainly
reduce
cost
on curing such diseases.

To conclude
, although
government
support
is required
for
treatments
of
some
diseases
, it is favorable to educate
people
about
healthy
lifestyle
. This is
because
, preventing any illness at initial stage will save colossal amount of money at later stage and
hence
, it can
used
for
some
other sectors.
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IELTS essay Governments round the world spend too much money n treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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