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Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. PVMng
There is no doubt that diabetes is one of the common diseases found among middle aged people across the world. In order to control this, governments are taking preventive actions by introducing / through the introduction of additional taxes on food and beverages with high sugar level. Although many people believe that this an excellent step by the Government, others argue that this might not be really helpful. In this essay, I will discuss both the views and lend my support for the former one. A large number of people believe that increasing the taxes on food and beverages will only fill government’s coffers with additional money. Additionally, paying the extra tax would increase the burden on middle class people and might even deprive them of sugary products. Furthermore, this would adversely impact the manufacturers of these products and they might have to bear heavy losses due to falling demand. On the other hand, this step by government would discourage people from buying food and beverages with high sugar content. This is not only beneficial for adults but also for children, who are tempted by a lot of sugary items such as soft drinks and chocolates. These are the major causes of obesity and hypertension in young children. According to a recent report, increased taxes on Pepsi and Coke have decreased their sale by 30 percent as compared to the last year. Therefore, this could be helpful in controlling the increasing number of diabetic patients. In other words, this measure will do wonders for public health and help both the government and the people to reduce their spending on medical treatment. In conclusion, though it might look like a rigid step taken by the regulating bodies, I believe, it can turn out to be extremely helpful for everyone, and will make them healthier and fitter.
There is no doubt that diabetes is one of the common diseases found among
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
middle aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the world. In order to control this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are taking preventive actions by introducing / through the introduction of additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on food and beverages with high sugar level. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this an excellent step by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
, others argue that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be
really
helpful. In this essay, I will discuss both the views and lend my support for the former one.

Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on food and beverages will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
coffers with additional money.
Additionally
, paying the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
would increase the burden on middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
even deprive them of sugary products.
Furthermore
, this would
adversely
impact the manufacturers of these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear heavy losses due to falling demand.

On the other hand
, this step by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from buying food and beverages with high sugar content. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for children, who
are tempted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sugary items such as soft drinks and chocolates. These are the major causes of obesity and hypertension in young children. According to a recent report, increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on Pepsi and Coke have decreased their sale by 30 percent as compared to the last year.
Therefore
, this could be helpful in controlling the increasing number of diabetic patients.
In other words
, this measure will do wonders for public health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their spending on medical treatment.

In conclusion
, though it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
look like a rigid step taken by the regulating bodies, I believe, it can turn out to be
extremely
helpful for everyone, and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them healthier and fitter.
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IELTS essay Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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