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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. 3D6b
For a better living standard it is crucial to have a successful profession. It is a preconcieved notion that permanent job is more essential than job satisfaction on the other hand, there are masses in the who think contrary. In the forthcoming paragraph i will discuss both the aforemention options and give my opinion. To commence with, in this world of competetion acquiring a permanent job is becoming difficult. Inspite of having many degrees and experience people are not able to place them in an organistion. Neverthless, having a job is necessary rather than thinking about job satisfaction. This is evidenced by survey conducted by 'University of Bristol', according to them 80% of employees are not in tune with their employers but still continue to work as they have a secure job. Thus people are concerned about permanent job. In contrast, there are individuals who give priority to job satisfaction. Although a job is necessary to meet the requriment of a family, it becomes difficult to work when the work is not appreciated thus, effecting the happiness of worker. Moreover, there are innumerable reasons for a person to loss interest on work, no insentive, delay in promotion are some of them. An article published in a renowned newspaper states that more than half of the employee resign from their permanent job merely because they are not recognised for their work To conclude with, in my opinion in today's world when population and demand is substantially high, it is inevitable to have a permanent job. Additionally, peace of mind is imperative yet, not at cost of lack of satisfaction while working. Consequently, it brings down the confidence that negetively impact the temperament of an individual.
For a better living standard it is crucial to have a successful profession. It is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
preconcieved
notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is more essential than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
on the other hand
, there are masses in the who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
contrary. In the forthcoming paragraph
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss both the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aforemention
options and give my opinion.

To commence with, in this world of
Possible spelling mistake found.
competetion
acquiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is becoming difficult.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
degrees and experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not able to place them in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
organistion
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neverthless
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is necessary
rather
than thinking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. This
is evidenced
by survey conducted by 'University of Bristol', according to them 80% of employees are not in tune with their employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they have a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concerned
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
job.

In contrast
, there are individuals who give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. Although a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
requriment
of a family, it becomes difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not appreciated
thus
, effecting the happiness of worker.
Moreover
, there are innumerable reasons for a person to loss interest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, no
Possible spelling mistake found.
insentive
, delay in promotion are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them. An article published in a renowned newspaper states that more than half of the employee resign from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
merely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
for their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work


To conclude
with, in my opinion in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world when population and demand is
substantially
high, it is inevitable to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Additionally
, peace of mind is imperative
yet
, not at cost of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
while working.
Consequently
, it brings down the confidence that
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetively
impact the temperament of an individual.

IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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