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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge rErp
In the today's world of digitalization, everyone of us is more found of mobile application for our daily needs. The portion of the population believe that digital books and current information technology will substitute the conventional newspaper and magazines. I totally agree with this notion because of the fact that computer science brings flexibility and ease of learning for their consumers. In the ancient times, people were dependent on hawkers for their daily-newspaper. However, nowadays, software has bring flexibility in their routine as they can now follow news feed on a small device such as mobiles tablets, and iPad. For example, in fhe recent survey conducted by "The Times"- clearly stated that 90% population of metropolitan city prefer online news reading over and above traditional newspaper. Hence, it is clear that sooner or later, we will will observe 100% of the population moving in the same direction. Adding to above, reading magazines and maintaining their storage space is one if the cumbersome task. Now being, everything on a small device, it is easy to maintain the electronic books for the reader. More so, for the environment prospective as well, it is wise to have paperless environment to save trees. For instance, as per the article published in " New York Times" - it is clearly stated that 60% of current population had downloaded application for their reading habits and one of the successful example of this is "KinderApplication" that has attracted 1 million subscribers in a weeks time. In conclusion, the digital mode of reading will supress the traditional way of reading. In fact this is evidentical that people are more inclined to e-learning and reading.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world of digitalization,
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
of us is more found of mobile application for our daily needs. The portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
believe that digital books and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
information technology will substitute the conventional newspaper and magazines. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
computer science brings flexibility and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of learning for their consumers.

In the ancient times,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were dependent on hawkers for their daily-newspaper.
However
, nowadays, software has
Use past participle here: "brought".
bring
flexibility in their routine as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
follow news feed on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
device such as mobiles tablets, and iPad.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
fhe
recent survey conducted by
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Times
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
-
clearly
stated that 90%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of metropolitan city prefer online news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
over and above traditional newspaper.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that sooner or later, we
Possible typo: you repeated a word
will will
observe 100% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
moving in the same direction.

Adding to above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
magazines and maintaining their storage space is
Did you mean "one of"?
one if
the cumbersome task.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
being, everything on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
device, it is easy to maintain the electronic books for the reader. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, for the environment prospective
as well
, it is wise to have paperless environment to save trees.
For instance
, as per the article published in
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
New York Times
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
it is
clearly
stated that 60% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
had downloaded application for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habits and one of the successful example of this is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
KinderApplication
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
that has attracted 1 million subscribers in a weeks time.

In conclusion
, the digital mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
supress
the traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. In fact this is
Possible spelling mistake found.
evidentical
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more inclined to e-learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
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IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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