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Many people like to wear fashionable clothes

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes l5p1
Wearing trendy clothes is becoming usual habit in many public. Although there are some reasons why people select to live fashionably, I believe that it is detrimental to society. Obviously, citizens are continuously to use more fashion because of two important reasons. The first one is the positive role of advertisement. Nowadays, in the age of advanced technology individuals are constantly exposed to a variety of clothing commercials on the Internet, these advertisements inducing them to buy more clothes. Therefore, they are tempted to watch the related page more and purchase being designed recently shoes, shirts or other clothes. Another one is to have peculiar appearance from others. Everyone wants to dress in their status, so they purchase different new styles of outfits, even Some people consider that it is a hobby. Hence, they always look fashionable. Despite fashionable clothes are good, they also have their downsides. One of the negatives is expensive fees of trendy clothes. Trendy clothes are always costly. As a result of purchasing them, people will not be able to get other important things they need for themselves or their homes. Some fashion attires look great, but they are uncomfortable to wear, which means that people cannot move well when they put on them. As a result, it can adversely affect their health. In conclusion, the main reason why many people are purchasing fashioned clothes is to become different from others, and this is not fruitful, because many are wasting their hard earned money just to look distinctive.
Wearing trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
is becoming usual habit in
Possible agreement error. The noun public seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much public", "a good deal of public".
many public
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
select to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
fashionably
, I believe that it is detrimental to society.

Obviously
, citizens are
continuously
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more fashion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons. The
first
one is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role of advertisement. Nowadays, in the age of advanced technology individuals are
constantly
exposed to a variety of clothing commercials on the Internet, these advertisements inducing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
Therefore
, they
are tempted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the related page more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
being designed
recently shoes, shirts or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. Another one is to have peculiar appearance from others. Everyone wants to dress in their status,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
new styles of outfits, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that it is a hobby.
Hence
, they always look fashionable.

Despite fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, they
also
have their downsides. One of the negatives is expensive fees of trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. Trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are always costly.
As a result
of purchasing them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things they need for themselves or their homes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
fashion attires look great,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are uncomfortable to wear, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
well when they put on them.
As a result
, it can
adversely
affect their health.

In conclusion
, the main reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are purchasing fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
is to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from others, and this is not fruitful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are wasting their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to look distinctive.
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IELTS essay Many people like to wear fashionable clothes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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