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Getting promotions are one of the biggest motivators for hard work in the modern workplace

Getting promotions are one of the biggest motivators for hard work in the modern workplace BJlrm
In modern workplace, the majority of employees are trying to seek for promotion and to get it work hard. There are a number of main reasons why they tend to get the higher positions. However, there are other factors that make them so energetic in their work. To begin with, nowadays most people are trying to receive promotion for high salary, as someone gets more salary than his and his household's basic needs, this person has an access of using life's all facilities, like my aunt. Her and her husbend's wage enough high. So, they can live take pleasure of life. For example, every year they trevel to abroad, see new places, new people, stay in an ornate hotel. I think we can not carry on these occations without money. There are another factors affecting the hard-working level of people in his era. For most people the most common factor in order to get it they work hard is personal interest. When people find out the career they love, they have high performance. Because that job is their passion and doing it makes them happy and fulfilled. At this point I want to give an example of Bill Geyt's sensible word. He said: " Enjoy what you are doing and you will never work in your life". I think he actes this sentences, as he achieved great successes. In conclusion, promotion is the one of the main causes for hard-working staff members in work places, yet, considering the other factors showed there is not one cause for them doing consequense. Whatever, are there reasons, they can make workers contribute as much as possible in the company they are taking part.
In modern workplace, the majority of employees are trying to seek for promotion and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. There are a number of main reasons why they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the higher positions.
However
, there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
energetic in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying to receive promotion for high salary, as someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more salary than his and his household's basic needs, this person has
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
of using life's all facilities, like my aunt.
Please check whether the nominative "She" should be used.
Her
and her
Possible spelling mistake found.
husbend
's wage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
high.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
take pleasure of life.
For example
, every year they
Possible spelling mistake found.
trevel
to abroad,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
new places, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, stay in an ornate hotel. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we can not carry on these
Possible spelling mistake found.
occations
without money. There are another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
affecting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in his era. For most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is personal interest. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find out the career they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, they have high performance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
that job is their passion and doing it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy and fulfilled. At this point I want to give an example of Bill
Possible spelling mistake found.
Geyt
's sensible word. He said:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
Enjoy what you are doing and you will never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in your life
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
he
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "acts", the plural form of the noun 'act'?
actes
this sentences, as he achieved great successes.
In conclusion
, promotion is the one of the main causes for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working staff members in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places,
yet
, considering the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
there is not one cause for them doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequense
. Whatever, are there reasons, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
workers contribute as much as possible in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
they are taking part.
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IELTS essay Getting promotions are one of the biggest motivators for hard work in the modern workplace

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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