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From the very begging I always liked to try and discover as many things as I could. I tried a lot of activities to really understand what I wanted to do in the future and what I was passionate to

From the very begging I always liked to try and discover as many things as I could. I tried a lot of activities to really understand what I wanted to do in the future and what I was passionate to wMlVd
From the very begging I always liked to try and discover as many things as I could. I tried a lot of activities to really understand what I wanted to do in the future and what I was passionate to. I started with sports and started with dancing, then I tried gymnastics and ice skating and In the end I went for basketball and karate. I just can not even count how many sports and activities I went for, but none of them was serious to me and I just looked at it as a physical activities which were essential for healthy lifestyle. One day I just sat down and started to think what I really enjoyed doing all the time and what really mattered to me, what did not made me to think that it was boring and eventually I understood that I was very passionate about culinary. In fact my mother really inspired me with her culinary skills and I’ve always like to watch her and learn as many things as could. At first I started to search for different popular cuisine from around the world to understand and learn as much things as I could about their traditional foods, due to the fact that I knew it would benefit me with understanding how different flavors work together with different dishes. Then I got lucky due to the fact that I participated in several school project where you had to make one specific dish and presentation to how yourself how good you were in that presenting yourself not only as a Presentator, also as a person who cooks very well. After several moths lockdown started we had to stay at home all the time, so that during this period I thought that I would be very clever to do something creative and at that time I said to myself that I would learn and practice as much as I could in cooking and I started my YouTube channel for food lovers, where people could see me cooking but only with my hands with soundtrack. At first it was very difficult to cope with all of this because then i had to edit the videos I took and it needed a lot of time and in general I spent like a whole day for taking and uploading one video, but the thing is that it really made not only me happy also the people who say how I had improved for the last two years. During this time I learned a lot most importantly about myself and how far I could go with hard work. I remember very well that before making the video at first I tried to cook several kinds of the same food with my interpretation and finally I would choose the best and the best thing about it was that some people thought that it was tiring for me but in reality I could not even describe how much joy I got from this process. Currently I am fifteen years old so that I am not really sure what I am going to do in the future, but I am very interested in business and culinary so that I think that my future carrier will probably contain culinary and business at the same time.
From the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
begging I always liked to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
discover as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things as I could. I tried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
activities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
understand what I wanted to do in the future and what I was passionate to. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
with sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
with dancing, then I tried gymnastics and ice skating and In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
I went for basketball and karate.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can not even count how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sports and activities I went for,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
none of them was serious to me and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
looked at it as a physical
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "activity"?
activities
which were essential for healthy lifestyle. One day I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sat down and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
what I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
enjoyed doing all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
mattered to me, what did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
made
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it was boring and
eventually
I understood that I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
passionate about culinary. In fact my mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
inspired me with her culinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and I’ve always like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
her and learn as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things as could. At
The comma is probably missing here: "first, I".
first I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
to search for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
popular cuisine from around the world to understand and learn as
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
things as I could about their traditional foods, due to the fact that I knew it would benefit me with understanding how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
flavors work together with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
dishes. Then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lucky due to the fact that I participated in several school project where you had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one specific dish and presentation to how yourself how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
you were in that presenting yourself not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Presentator
,
also
as a person who cooks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. After several moths lockdown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
we had to stay at home all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that during this period I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that I would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clever to do something creative and at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I said to myself that I would learn and practice as much as I could in cooking and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
my YouTube channel for food lovers, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
me cooking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with my hands with soundtrack. At
The comma is probably missing here: "first, it".
first it
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to cope with all of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
had to edit the videos I took and it needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
in general
I spent like a whole day for taking and uploading one video,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the thing is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
made not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
me happy
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who say how I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
for the last two years. During this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I learned
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of most"?
a lot most
importantly
about myself and how far I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. I remember
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making the video at
first
I tried to cook several kinds of the same food with my interpretation and
finally
I would choose the best and the best thing about it was that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it was tiring for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in reality I could not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how much joy I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from this process.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
I am fifteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I am not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
sure what I am going to do in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested in business and culinary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that my future carrier will
probably
contain culinary and business at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay From the very begging I always liked to try and discover as many things as I could. I tried a lot of activities to really understand what I wanted to do in the future and what I was passionate to

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
549 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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