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For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

Art has been a significant part of various communities across the globe for ages. Nevertheless, these days people’s morals have changed, and they are more inclined to focus on science, technology and Business in essence than arts. Causes for this could be, cutting edge and competitive technologies. Remarkable scientific projects and their rewards, business outcome in monetary gains have led to this development. There are several methods that can prove to be beneficial in having greater investment of interest from general public. We shall dwell on the same after careful observation of it from all possible angles. In my view, it must start at its ground level. Our young generation should be targeted to convey the message how Arts can enrich their and community’s lives if given importance to. How artists from different eras have contributed to the society. How Arts was interlinked to wipe out social differences and issues by these renowned artists. One such example is of Leonardo Da’ Vinci. He took to Arts, and not only created a masterpiece through paintings like Monalisa, which we still treasure and consider one of its kind but also showed us how an object can fly in the air. Early designs of airplanes have been discovered by many art lovers from his collection. There are number of instances wherein he successfully connected Arts with developing science and technology. We shall also conduct free exhibitions to grow awareness of Arts among common people. We must make them aware of the value it adds to our species. Just think had there been no Arts, then there would have been no theatre, no drama, no movies or entertainment. Movies simply are a modern form of Arts. I truly hope people will eventually learn and imbibe to balance Science, Business, Technology and Arts for better future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
has been a significant part of various communities across the globe for ages.
Nevertheless
, these days
Do not use ‘s with a verb. Did you mean “peoples”?
people’s
morals have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, and they are more inclined to focus on science, technology and Business in essence than arts.

Causes for this could be, cutting edge and competitive technologies. Remarkable scientific projects and their rewards, business outcome in monetary gains have led to this development. There are several methods that can prove to be beneficial in having greater investment of interest from
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
. We shall dwell on the same after careful observation of it from all possible angles.

In my view, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
at its ground level. Our young generation should
be targeted
to convey the message how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
can enrich their and community’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
importance to. How artists from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
eras have contributed to the society. How
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
was interlinked
to wipe out social differences and issues by these renowned artists.

One such example is of Leonardo
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
’ Vinci. He took to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
, and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
created a masterpiece through paintings like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Monalisa
, which we
still
treasure and consider one of its kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
us how an object can
fly
in the air. Early designs of airplanes have
been discovered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
lovers from his collection. There are
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “a number of”?
number of
instances wherein he
successfully
connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
with developing science and technology.

We shall
also
conduct free exhibitions to grow awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
among common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aware of the value it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to our species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
had there been no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
, then there would have been no
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
, no drama, no movies or entertainment. Movies
simply
are a modern form of Arts.

I
truly
hope
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
eventually
learn and imbibe to balance Science, Business, Technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
for better future.
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IELTS essay For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?