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Focused versus broadened university studies

Focused versus broadened university studies aw6wd
Years of university education comprise one of the most memorable as well as critical periods in the lives of highly educated people. Although it has a deep influence on the students’ view of the taught subjects, being involved in learning a diverse array of subjects has some drawbacks. I provide some arguments below to explain why I prefer specialized studies at universities, rather than broadened ones. For the beginning I would like to remind us of the main role of higher education, which is preparing the students for their future professions. Despite the undeniable influence of having a diversified range of knowledge on the depth of our understanding of job related issues, the most crucial part of our knowledge is the professional one. We can acquire our general knowledge by personal studies. However, it is less probable that we learn specialized subjects by self-study. Thus, I believe that in university the focus of education should be put on the subjects that are required for becoming professional. In addition, I shall indicate that going through extra subjects and courses is equal to extended years of academic education, which in turn delays the time that students can start their economic roles. Length of the academic education should be kept as short as practical; so that the fresh workforce be injected to the economy pool without losing valuable time. Time is money; and it is not wise to spend it without reservations. Moreover, education has its costs, both for the students and for the governments. Broadened fields of study leads to extra years of formal education. Thus, going to the university will become even further costly. The cost to effectiveness ratio is a logical measure to evaluate a decision in this regard. I am not personally willing to pay any extra expense for my education. Prioritizing the necessary subjects results in cutting expenses, as well as reducing debts of education. To sum it up, I strongly believe that having a specific field of study in university is a reasonable and wise choice. It focuses on what is mandatory for a specific profession, reduces the cost of education, and economically benefits the society.
Years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
comprise one of the most memorable
as well
as critical periods in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
highly
educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Although it has a deep influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
view of the taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
being involved
in learning a diverse array of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. I provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments below to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I prefer specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
rather
than broadened ones.

For the beginning I would like to remind us of the main role of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which is preparing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their future professions. Despite the undeniable influence of having a diversified range of knowledge on the depth of our understanding of job related issues, the most crucial part of our knowledge is the professional one. We can acquire our general knowledge by personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
However
, it is less probable that we learn specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
by self-study.
Thus
, I believe that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
the focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be put
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that
are required
for becoming professional.

In addition
, I shall indicate that going through extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and courses is equal to extended years of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which in turn delays the time that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their economic roles. Length of the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
as short as practical;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the fresh workforce
be injected
to the economy pool without losing valuable time. Time is money; and it is not wise to spend it without reservations.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has its costs, both for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. Broadened fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
leads to extra years of formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Thus
, going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will become even
further
costly. The cost to effectiveness ratio is a logical measure to evaluate a decision in this regard. I am not
personally
willing to pay any extra expense for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Prioritizing the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
results in cutting expenses,
as well
as reducing debts of education.

To sum it up, I
strongly
believe that having a specific field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a reasonable and wise choice. It focuses on what is mandatory for a specific profession,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and
economically
benefits the society.
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IELTS essay Focused versus broadened university studies

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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