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Agree or disagree leisure time

Agree or disagree leisure time LrEr1
Having a fruitful and relaxing leisure time plays a crucial role in experiencing a healthy lifestyle. People have different approaches toward it, based on their personalities. I prefer to spend my spare time with a large group of people for the reasons that I am going to explain in the following passage. For the first thing, the main points of having a leisure time is being distracted from daily life stressors, getting relaxed, and having fun. When I am alone, I cannot help myself with overthinking about the problems I have been dealing with in the current day and/or week. Unfortunately, being in company with only one or two friends, who are usually my closest ones, leads me to ruminate on the bad experiences I have had along the week, in order to have their opinions on it. Therefore, I gradually become seriously obsessed with negative thoughts, and my mood plunges dramatically. So, I need to be around a large group of people to drag me out of the spiral of low mood and negative attitude. Second, leisure time is the best time for having secure social interactions out of professional settings. We are always learning life skills through diverse social contacts by being exposed to new people and new situations, that excite our minds and push them to new edges. In the modern era, when the social contacts have the primary and critical influence on our economic success, the best way to become an expert in handling the professional conflicts is having prior practices. Leisure times are secure experiences that keep us fit for dealing with serious social situations. Thus, having more people around while spending leisure time is equal to more contacts and higher levels of social preparation. Finally, spending fun time among a big group of people usually mandates to get out of home and get involved with the world behind the door. It is of utmost importance to sometimes astray from daily routines, especially for me. So, I prefer to meet my friends in outdoor settings, because staying at home makes me depressed. In conclusion, having a lot of companions in leisure times has many advantages. It helps me to be distracted from whatever makes me anxious, and elevates my mood. It enhances my social skills, and pushes me out of my cozy apartment to get in touch with the outside world. Therefore, I believe that spending leisure time with a lot of people is much preferable than being alone, or with a small group.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a fruitful and relaxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
plays a crucial role in experiencing a healthy lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaches toward it, based on their personalities. I prefer to spend my spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the reasons that I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the following passage.

For the
first
thing, the main points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
being distracted
from daily life stressors, getting relaxed, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
fun. When I am alone, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
myself with overthinking about the problems I have been dealing with in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
day and/or week. Unfortunately, being in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one or two friends, who are
usually
my closest ones, leads me to ruminate on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experiences I have had along the week, in order to have their opinions on it.
Therefore
, I
gradually
become
seriously
obsessed with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts, and my mood plunges
dramatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I need to be around a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to drag me out of the spiral of low mood and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interactions out of professional settings. We are always learning life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
contacts by
being exposed
to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and new situations, that excite our minds and push them to new edges. In the modern era, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
contacts have the primary and critical influence on our economic success, the best way to become an expert in handling the professional conflicts is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
prior practices.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
are secure experiences that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us fit for dealing with serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
situations.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around while spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is equal to more contacts and higher levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
preparation.

Finally
, spending fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
among a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
mandates to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved with the world behind the door. It is of utmost importance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
astray from daily routines,
especially
for me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my friends in outdoor settings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
staying at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me depressed.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
companions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to
be distracted
from whatever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me anxious, and elevates my mood. It enhances my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and pushes me out of my cozy apartment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with the outside world.
Therefore
, I believe that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is much
Use "(preferable)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
preferable
than being alone, or with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS essay Agree or disagree leisure time

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
419 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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