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Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that? Do you think job satisfaction is important? v.1

Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that? Do you think job satisfaction is important? v. 1
In today’s modern world, satisfaction with a job has been a matter of great concern. It is true that it would be difficult to get a comfortable career in the third countries. This essay will analyze causes for this tendency and support the statement that job satisfaction is equally crucial as other factors. It is thought that in a wide variety of developing countries which need a great number of employers work in manual sectors, individuals find it hard to get a fulfilling job. This is because, in these nations, the size of salary is considerably the key point rather than job satisfaction. Most of them desire to have a reasonable quality of life to earn money as much as they can. Furthermore, in third world countries, workers tend to straight get a job after completing the high school or if they have a better chance to pursue tertiary education, they still compete with a thousand of applicants to own their jobs. Money and own secure job, therefore, are thought as priority things first which need for them to cover their basic needs, support themselves and raise the family. Nevertheless, I also support the idea that job enjoyment is equally important as money or survived-jobs. Firstly, job satisfaction comes from their professional achievement, the skills they learn, the position they reach rather than the money they earn. Almost necessary factors facilitate an individual move up their career ladder in the future. This should be a long-term goal in each people’s career path. For example, my classmate in the university has left his job, a senior engineer in Deloitte, one of the top rank company with high salary. Then he pursued his dream job, which built up his own startup relevant to agriculture and gets success. In conclusion, Satisfaction with the job, nowadays, become a dream factor when applicants find their career. However, these things could be considered as a vital aspect in the long term.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has been a matter of great concern. It is true that it would be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in the third countries. This essay will analyze causes for this tendency and support the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
equally
crucial as other factors.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that in a wide variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
which need a great number of employers work in manual sectors, individuals find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in these nations, the size of salary is
considerably
the key point
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. Most of them desire to have a reasonable quality of life to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as much as they can.
Furthermore
, in third world countries, workers tend to straight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after completing the high school or if they have a better chance to pursue tertiary education, they
still
compete with a thousand of applicants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
therefore
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as priority things
first
which need for them to cover their basic needs, support themselves and raise the family.

Nevertheless
, I
also
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
enjoyment is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or survived-jobs.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from their professional achievement, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they learn, the position they reach
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they earn. Almost necessary factors facilitate an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
ladder in the future. This should be a long-term goal in each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path.
For example
, my classmate in the university has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, a senior engineer in Deloitte, one of the top rank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with high salary. Then he pursued his dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, which built up his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
startup relevant to agriculture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
success.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Satisfaction
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, nowadays, become a dream factor when applicants find their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
However
, these things could
be considered
as a vital aspect in the long term.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that? Do you think job satisfaction is important? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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