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Financial education should be a mandatory component of high school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement

Financial education should be a mandatory component of high school program. with the statement 0bK1
Financial planning is key for living a happy and successful life. Since high school’s are very important in shaping individual’s and nation’s future, it would be great if they educate children’s regarding financial planning. So, in my view high school’s should make financial education a compulsory subject as part of their curriculum. First and foremost, it is quite evident that whatever one learns at young age, determines their behavior in future. Therefore, financial planning should be taught compulsorily to students in high schools so that growing up they cultivate this habit. Also, monetary planning not only helps in upliftment of individual’s living standard, but also boosts nation’s economy since there will be vast decrease in poverty. Furthermore, we cannot neglect the fact that young kids are more fascinated about learning Science and technology than learning about what drives world’s economy. These will eventually result in development in Areas of Science only and economy of world will be in very bad shape, resulting in Global recession in longer period. To avoid this, high schools should literate pupils on financial education as much as Science. On the contrary, some students who aspire for becoming Artists, Engineers and Scientists might consider studying finance, a waste of time. Adding more, students who are passionate towards arts or science from young age might find studying Commerce completely irrelatable and it can affect their grades also. Conclusively, I pen down saying that to uplift nation’s economy and make world a better place, we need as much of Economists as Artists and Scientist. So, high schools should include Financial education as a major subject, so that more students take interest in this component.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is key for living a happy and successful life. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in shaping individual’s and nation’s future, it would be great if they educate children’s regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education a compulsory subject as part of their curriculum.

First
and foremost, it is quite evident that whatever one learns at young age, determines their behavior
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
should
be taught
compulsorily
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that growing up they cultivate this habit.
Also
, monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
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upliftment
of individual’s living standard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boosts nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
since there will be vast decrease in poverty.
Furthermore
, we cannot neglect the fact that young kids are more fascinated about learning Science and technology than learning about what drives world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. These will
eventually
result in development in Areas of Science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of world will be in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
shape, resulting in Global recession in longer period. To avoid this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should literate pupils on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education as much as Science.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who aspire for becoming Artists, Engineers and Scientists might consider studying finance, a waste of time. Adding more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are passionate towards arts or science from young age might find studying Commerce completely
Possible spelling mistake found.
irrelatable
and it can affect their grades
also
.

Conclusively
, I pen down saying that to uplift nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
world a better place, we need as much of Economists as Artists and Scientist.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Financial
education as a major subject,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take interest in this component.

IELTS essay Financial education should be a mandatory component of high school program. with the statement

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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