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Fewer people today visit museums than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future?

Fewer people today visit museums than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future? aMRo
Museums is a place where individual can learn past history and events that took place in society. It is an effective way of learning new things. In past, a lot of people used to visit museums, but these days only less number of individual go to the museums. This is because of the advancements in technology. Individual can be motivated to visit museums by making them realize the importance of history. On the one hand, in the recent time, technology like internet has helped a lot to gain enormous knowledge about history and culture. By just clicking a button they can access information lounging on the couch. Many individual believe that they tend to acquire more insight about museums rather than visiting museums due to the fact that internet provide reliable source of information. Morever, this is the era of technology people are more interested in new technological innovation rather than past events, and individual these spend lots of time chatting with their friends and relatives on different platform like messenger, skype, vibe, so they do not have time to go to the museums. Also, children these days are more inclined on different gadgets playing different video games, movies instead of visiting museums. In addition, individual are more busy in their work and they do not have sufficient time to visit these place. On the other hand, people can be encouraged by awaking them regarding the significant of historical events, and establishing museums house in every community because many communities do not have museums in their locality, as a result, they are less interested towards them. On the top of that many museums have expensive entry fee, which discourage lot of people visiting museums that is why local authority should charge less money for entering in museums. People should aware about the benefits it brings for the development of community and country. For instance, local museums attracts lot of national and international tourism, which will have positive impact in the society as museums generates income and increase the living standard of people. In conclusion, we cannot deny the everyone should have the knowledge of historical facts since knowing facts makes them feel proud and persuading them to visit these place will increase curiosity among people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
is a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can learn past history and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that took place in society. It is an effective way of learning new things.
Did you mean: "In the past"?
In past
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancements in technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individual
can
be motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
by making them realize the importance of history.

On the one hand, in the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, technology like internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
to gain enormous knowledge about history and culture. By
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
clicking a button they can access information lounging on the couch.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
believe that they tend to acquire more insight about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
rather
than visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
due to the fact
The verb 'provide' is plural. Did you mean: "that internet provides"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that internet provide
reliable source of information.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, this is the era of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more interested in new technological innovation
rather
than past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
these spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
chatting with their friends and relatives on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
platform like messenger, skype, vibe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
Also
, children these days are more inclined on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
gadgets playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
video games, movies
instead
of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
are more busy in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they do not have sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these place.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be encouraged
by awaking them regarding
The phrase 'the significant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the significant of
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, and establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in every community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communities do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in their locality,
as a result
, they are less interested towards them. On the top of that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have expensive entry fee, which discourage
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
that is
why local authority should charge less money for entering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
The word 'aware' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should aware
about the benefits it brings for the development of community and country.
For instance
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
attracts
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
national and international tourism, which will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in the society as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
generates income and increase the living standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, we cannot deny
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "everyone"?
the everyone
should have the knowledge of historical facts since knowing facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel proud and persuading them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these place will increase curiosity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Fewer people today visit museums than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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