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Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.

Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up. AA5n
Being a father is said to be as important as being a mother. The concept that females are the only ones solely deciding on whether to have offspring might be followed by the idea they are the ones on duty to raise the children as well. While it is true both parents should be equally involved in the life of their kids, males can find it harder to fill in that expectation due to limiting work laws in majority of the world and lack of social help from the government for parents. Unfortunately, in many countries the working codex is still favoring females and allows them to take up on maternity leave while not letting the dads to be to take up on free time. That does not allow dads to have time with their new babies and the workload lands on moms to spend all the time with the kid. For example, in Poland the maternity leave can last for up to one year, whereas paternity leave is only allowed for two weeks and often not well received by the employers, that does not allow fathers to truly bond with the baby and forces the mothers to say home alone for most of the first year of life of the child. Another issue is lack of support from government which would be suitable for fresh parents but also throughout the live of children. Money shortage can be a real problem especially when the couple decides on having children and usually it is a father’s role to provide for the family, sometimes forcing them to work long hours and coming home too exhausted to help with the offspring. In many eastern European countries like Ukraine males are forced to work half of the day to be able to provide for the whole family. While fatherhood should be as crucial as motherhood, today it is still limited. Most of the time mother can choose if she wants to stay at home and take care of the children while fathers must fill in the shoes of the breadwinner of the family without time left to get involved in family’s life.
Being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is said
to be as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as being a mother. The concept that females are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
solely
deciding on whether to have offspring might
be followed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
on duty to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
. While it is true both parents should be
equally
involved in the life of their kids, males can find it harder to fill in that expectation due to limiting work laws in
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the world and lack of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for parents.

Unfortunately, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the working codex is
still
favoring females and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to take up on maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
while not letting the dads to be to take up on free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. That does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
dads to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their new babies and the workload lands on moms to spend all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the kid.
For example
, in Poland the maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
can last for up to one year, whereas paternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for two weeks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well received
by the employers, that does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
to
truly
bond with the baby and forces the mothers to say home alone for most of the
first
year of life of the child.

Another issue is lack of support from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which would be suitable for fresh parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Money shortage can be a real problem
especially
when the couple decides on having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
usually
it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father’s
role to provide for the family,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
forcing them to work long hours and coming home too exhausted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the offspring. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
eastern European countries like Ukraine males
are forced
to work half of the day to be able to provide for the whole family.

While fatherhood should be as crucial as motherhood,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it is
still
limited. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
mother can choose if she wants to stay at home and take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
fill in the shoes of the breadwinner of the family without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in family’s life.
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IELTS essay Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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