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Family is the most important thing in a person’s life. Do you agree or disagree?

Family is the most important thing in a person’s life. 6l0Xl
From the birth of human being on, their surroundings have a crucial role in their today and tomorrow. Considering each step of a life ladder, regarding with this matter, I would say that, the vital effective people in our life are only members of our family, in terms of health, moral and mental matters. To begin with, being healthy is the most demanding thing in a person’s life. The unhealthier, the unhappier you feel not depending on how amazing you have spent your day. As most of the diseases stem from our our genes, when we are completely healthy, consequently happy, we can not underestimate our family’s role here.  From the other hand, mental health and thinking ability can only be possessed in case we brought up in a healthy environment. If the elderly in our family got essential knowledge from educational institutions, taking an example from them we will build our carrier-future in the same way. Consequently, it will lead to the development in our health, mental and moral features. To sum up, I am more than sure of impacts of our family in our lives. All crucial factors-health, mental and moral- we possess only develop based on the level of those features that has already been emitted by our family.
From the birth of human being on, their surroundings have a crucial role in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and tomorrow. Considering each step of a life ladder, regarding with this matter, I would say that, the vital effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our life are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
members of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, in terms of health, moral and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
matters. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, being healthy is the most demanding thing in a person’s life. The unhealthier, the unhappier you feel not depending on how amazing you have spent your day. As most of the diseases stem from
Possible typo: you repeated a word
our our
genes, when we are completely healthy,
consequently
happy, we can not underestimate our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
role here.  From the other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health and thinking ability can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be possessed
in case we brought up in a healthy environment. If the elderly in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
essential knowledge from educational institutions, taking an example from them we will build our carrier-future
in the same way
.
Consequently
, it will lead to the development in our health,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and moral features. To sum up, I am more than sure of impacts of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. All crucial factors-health,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and moral- we possess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develop based on the level of those features that has already
been emitted
by our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
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IELTS essay Family is the most important thing in a person’s life.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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