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family and friend bring more happiness then possession

family and friend bring more happiness then possession 0A0WB
Happiness is an important aspect of our life. Achieving it depends on different things, such as family, friends, or possession. The effect of these parts is not the same for everyone. My opinion is friends and family can make our beliefs and impress our personality. They can change our view and show us some ugly or beautiful aspects of life. However, I think good family and friends help us to develop a positive attitude to life and followed by this bring more happiness. Furthermore, possessions can make happiness too but I believe it isn't effective than suitable people. But someone doesn't agree with my idea. According to this group, they think having money and possessions makes life happier. Similarly, have a good income and saving money for the future decreases stress and helps us to enjoy our life. Although these people believe money brings some happiness they can't ignore the role of other aspects like family or friends. In conclusion, both people include family and friends, and possessions influence personal happiness but the importance of them is different and relay on everyone life. Worthy families may be unhappy and think having friends can make them glad or on the other hand, poor families maybe think just money can help them to find happiness. It is not easy to judge people in various conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Achieving it depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possession
. The effect of these parts is not the same for everyone.

My opinion is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our beliefs and impress our personality. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ugly or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to develop a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and followed by this bring more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe it isn't
Use "(effective)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
effective
than suitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
someone doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. According to this group, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
happier.
Similarly
, have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income and saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the future decreases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to enjoy our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Although these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
they can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the role of other aspects like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or friends.

In conclusion
, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
influence personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the importance of them is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and relay on everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Worthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
may be unhappy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them glad or
on the other hand
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help them find"?
help them to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. It is not easy to judge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in various conditions.
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IELTS essay family and friend bring more happiness then possession

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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