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extreme sport should be banned or not

extreme sport should be banned or not oV6ew
It will be an exaggeration if I say, that I think extreme sport should not be banned because they learn how to keep calm under stress and improve skills. On my point of view, I want to say if practice d safely, extreme sports can be a great way to do physical exercise and relieve stress. For instance, if extreme sport member use equipment such as helmet and glove they will be protect injurers. Moreover I believe that it is wrong to prohibit extreme sports because when you work during 8 hours, you will be tired and exhausted instead of you must be sky diving and mountain biking. Finally, weigh out my view, every people have right enjoe the sports they are into whether their risky or not as they have free of choice. Every human beings think that challenging sports enable for many people release their own life pressure. Overall, in my opinion every human have a choice. If the person think that he need to extreme sports for adrenaline or entertainment it should not be banned.
It will be an exaggeration if I say, that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
should not
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
calm under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On my point of view, I want to say if practice d
safely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can be a great way to do physical exercise and relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
member
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
equipment such as helmet and glove they will be
Consider using the past participle "protected"?
protect
injurers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when you work during 8 hours, you will
be tired
and exhausted
instead
of you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Did you mean "skydiving"?
sky diving
and mountain biking.

Finally
, weigh out my view, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have right
Possible spelling mistake found.
enjoe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
they are into whether their risky or not as they have free of choice. Every human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
enable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life pressure.

Overall
, in my opinion every human have a choice. If the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that he need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for adrenaline or entertainment it should not
be banned
.
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IELTS essay extreme sport should be banned or not

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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