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Experts says if the old people spend time and get along with others perform diffrent healthier and happier but nowdays people suffer from loneliness and lack of fitness what causes and solution

Experts says if the old people spend time and get along with others perform diffrent healthier and happier but nowdays people suffer from loneliness and lack of fitness what causes and solution AgkGX
Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others perform diffrent form exercise everyday will be healthier and happier but nowdays elderly people are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. there are several reasons associated with this trend. also there are some plausible measures help to mitigate these problems. There are some causes due to which old people suffer from loneliness and lack of fitness. firstly joint families are replaced by nuclear families. hence the adults do not like to live with their parents. nobody is there who can vanish their loneliness. In addition, if they are living in joint families but both adults are professional due to their hectic schedule they do not even once look toward their parents. also whenever they get some free time they would like to spend on electronic gadgets. whereas elderly people not know how to use the electronic gadgets. Moreover older people suffer from lack of fitness because adults usually prefer to eat outside. so the adults also give packed food to older people which may not healthy for them. also lack of facilities lack of facilities like such as public park and garden. There are some plausible measures to mitigate this situation. if older people who are feeling loneliness. hence to remove their loneliness. if adults are professional they can arrange care taker who care and spend whole day with them. Moreover, if adults can teach older people to use electronic gadgets. When they can learn how to use they can easily communicate with their near and dear ones. In addition, they can entertainment themselves so which might remove their loneliness. Furthermore for better health they have to take proper nutritional diet and government should allocate some funds for parks which may help to do diffrent form of exercises and stay hale and hearty. In conclusion, i restate the various factors are responsible for this issue but aforementioned steps should help to tackle this problem.
Experts say if the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with others perform
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrent
form exercise
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
will be healthier and happier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of fitness.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are several reasons associated with this trend.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plausible measures
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help
to mitigate these problems. There are
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some
causes due to which
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of fitness.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
joint families
are replaced
by nuclear families.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
do not like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their parents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nobody
is there who can vanish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
.
In addition
, if they are living in joint families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are professional due to their hectic schedule they do not even once look toward their parents.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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some
free time they would like to spend on electronic gadgets.
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whereas
elderly
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people
not know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the electronic gadgets.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of fitness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
usually
prefer to eat outside.
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so
the
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adults
also
give packed food to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which may not healthy for them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of facilities like such as public park and garden. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plausible measures to mitigate this situation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are feeling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
to remove their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are professional they can arrange care taker who care and spend whole day with them.
Moreover
, if
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adults
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic gadgets. When they can learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
they can
easily
communicate with their near and dear ones.
In addition
, they
The word 'entertainment' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can entertainment
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
which might remove their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loneliness
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
for better health they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take proper nutritional diet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds for parks which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrent
form of exercises and stay hale and hearty.
In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
restate the various factors are responsible for this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
aforementioned steps should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to tackle this problem.
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IELTS essay Experts says if the old people spend time and get along with others perform diffrent healthier and happier but nowdays people suffer from loneliness and lack of fitness what causes and solution

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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