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Expansion of Supermarket and Closure of Local Businesses

Expansion of Supermarket and Closure of Local Businesses lGo1
Yes, I completely agree that local businesses are losing the battle against big departmental stores as a result of their stupendous progress and augmentation, which would lead to cessation of local businesses and end of local communities as per the opinion of a few people and my viewpoints on the same will be elaborated in the following paragraphs. In a country like India, where more than 60% of the population is still living in rural India, we are still struggling to bring up our literation and employment rate; small businesses play a significant role in running the daily lives of a lot of people. Due to scale of the economy, they can reduce the price to a level that cannot be matched by a local business, which leads to the monopoly of those big companies. This centralization of wealth leads to a direction where the poor become poorer and the rich richer. Apart from the health of the nation's economy, it also impacts our health. These big organizations only care about profitability and mass production; we miss out on that product's originality. Just because these big food chains are trying to make sure that every vegetable is in every season, it leaves a significant negative impact on soil and water level where that vegetable is grown. All the pesticides used to make the harvest grow better than end up in our bodies. To summarize, we must encourage local businesses to preserve our nature and economic health. We would be ruining the future of the entire humanity by letting local businesses die.
Yes, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are losing the battle against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
departmental stores
as a result
of their stupendous progress and augmentation, which would lead to cessation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities as per the opinion of a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and my viewpoints on the same will
be elaborated
in the following paragraphs.

In a country like India, where more than 60% of the population is
still
living in rural India, we are
still
struggling to bring up our
Possible spelling mistake found.
literation
and employment rate;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
play a significant role in running the daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Due to scale of the economy, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the price to a level that cannot
be matched
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, which leads to the monopoly of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. This centralization of wealth leads to a direction where the poor become poorer and the rich richer.

Apart from the health of the nation's economy, it
also
impacts our health. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care about profitability and mass production; we miss out on that product's originality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
food chains are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that every vegetable is in every season, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on soil and water level where that vegetable
is grown
. All the pesticides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the harvest grow better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in our bodies.

To summarize
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to preserve our nature and economic health. We would be ruining the future of the entire humanity by letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
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IELTS essay Expansion of Supermarket and Closure of Local Businesses

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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