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Everything has two sides and playing games on a devise is not exception.

Everything has two sides and playing games on a devise is not exception. Nowadays, it is easy to access to video games for young people, and it goes without saying that there are pros and cons. First, we must acknowledge that computer games cause some health problems. The biggest issue would be a lack of exercise outdoors. There is a tendency for children who do not play outdoor sports to be obese. That is why playing video games induce severe problems for young generation. Additionally, if people spend a lot of time looking at a screen, their eyes might to be in a bad state. Thus playing video games occurs a couple of problem of health. Additionally, people who play virtual games on a computer or TV alone tend to lose their ability to communicate. The reason is that while they enjoy playing games, they do not have interact with other individuals. On the other hand, there are much more good points related to play on electrical appliances. First of all, playing video games improves children’s skill of imagination because they can experience virtual worlds on a screen. For example, a game which features a history shows them an atmosphere of an old days which they never able to see. Secondly, they can study through video games. As I mentioned before, historical games show them life style in the past. In addition, there are a lot of games that are designed for educational purpose such as pazzle, cross words game. What’s more, children might be more interested in academic themes through video games and there is a possibility that they study harder to enroll in a college. To sum up, while there are some disadvantages, I really advocate that virtual games have unbelievable merits for children.
Everything has two sides and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on a devise is not exception. Nowadays, it is easy to access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and it goes without saying that there are pros and cons.

First
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems. The biggest issue would be a lack of exercise outdoors. There is a tendency for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who do not play outdoor sports to be obese.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
induce severe problems for young generation.
Additionally
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time looking at a screen, their eyes might to be in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
state.
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
occurs a couple of problem of health.

Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who play virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on a computer or TV alone tend to lose their ability to communicate. The reason is that while they enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they do not have interact with other individuals.

On the other hand
, there are much more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points related to play on electrical appliances.
First
of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of imagination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can experience virtual worlds on a screen.
For example
, a game which features a history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
them an atmosphere of an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days which they never able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.

Secondly
, they can study through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. As I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them life style in the past.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that
are designed
for educational purpose such as pazzle, cross words game. What’s more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be more interested in academic themes through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and there is a possibility that they study harder to enroll in a college.

To sum up, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I
really
advocate that virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have unbelievable merits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Everything has two sides and playing games on a devise is not exception.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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