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Everyone should stag in school until the age of eighteen agree or disagree

Everyone should stag in school until the age of eighteen agree or disagree obgEX
It is irrefutable that children who are under the age eighteen should study under ristricted environment with the experience guidance of teachers. However, in my point of view, this statement is practically true in present candition. While, this essay will discuss the positive aspects of having an adults in school unless they are mature and independent regarding thought and actions. To commence with, young stag is quiet innocent part of everyone's life. The reason behind it, children use to depend on parents, teachers and friends. They mostly try to do those works that given by parents and teachers. In this condition, if learner send to the college level environment then, they might be districted from study. As the result, they get lower marks in exams or fail in final examination. To Illustration, the survey was conducted in Oxford University that shows 90 percentage of students got higher marks in schools, who are studied in school level environment than those, who are totally free to study and take tuition only. Apart from this, newcomers are not enough mature. In other words, they does not have clear vision about future that what they want to be and what is she/ he favourite subject. So, providing a comfortable environment to children, where they concentrate and give time to ability would be the best approach for developing countries. Moving further, under the eighteen age, children are not physically and mentally strong. To explain it, they are find difficulties to differenciate between good and bad. They mostly do, what they see and listen, consequently, sometimes, learners take part with bad companies and adopted bad habits such as, cigarette, alcohol, drugs and many more. For example, The Tribune Newspaper published an article about represented, 72 percentage of newcomers are addicted with drugs because they get not intention from family and techer, who guide them. In conclusion, although, nowadays children are much more intelligent and confident than previous adults, it would be more practical to give them school environment, they can concentrate on themselves and polish their abilities thoughts and maturity level till eighteen.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are under the age eighteen should study under
Possible spelling mistake found.
ristricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
with the experience guidance of teachers.
However
, in my point of view, this statement is
practically
true in present
Possible spelling mistake found.
candition
. While, this essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of having
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an adult" or simply "adults"?
an adults
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
unless they are mature and independent regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and actions.

To commence with, young stag is
Did you mean "quite"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quiet
innocent part of everyone's life. The reason behind it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
depend on parents, teachers and friends. They
mostly
try to do those works that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by parents and teachers. In this condition, if learner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to the college level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
then, they might be
Possible spelling mistake found.
districted
from study. As the result, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lower marks in exams or fail in final examination. To Illustration, the survey
was conducted
in Oxford University that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
90 percentage of students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
higher marks in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are studied
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
than those,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
totally
free to study and take tuition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Apart from this, newcomers are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
mature.
In other words
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "do"
does
not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
vision about future that what they want to be and what is she/ he
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
subject.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, providing a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, where they concentrate and give time to ability would be the best approach for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

Moving
further
, under the eighteen age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
physically
and mentally strong. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, they are find difficulties to
Possible spelling mistake found.
differenciate
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. They
mostly
do, what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and listen,
consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and adopted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits such as, cigarette, alcohol, drugs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For example
, The Tribune Newspaper published an article about represented, 72 percentage of newcomers
are addicted
with drugs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
not intention from family and
Possible spelling mistake found.
techer
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
guide them.

In conclusion
, although, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are much more intelligent and confident than previous adults, it would be more practical to give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, they can concentrate on themselves and polish their abilities thoughts and maturity level till eighteen.
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IELTS essay Everyone should stag in school until the age of eighteen agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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