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Essay question: Do you agree that the advantages cars bring out weigh the disadvantages.

With the increase of cars on the road, I strongly believe that they bring several demerits to both the environment and to the health people. To begin with, cars causes a lot of road traffic congestion making the environment unconducive. As both private and public cars ply the same road due to the fact that everybody leaves and returns almost the same time. This makes the road to be busy. More so, it also causes the road to be in a dehabilitated state resulting from pot holes thus hinders the free movement of vehicles. For instance, individual always want to drive their own car because they can determine their schedule and movement. However, this can be prevented if they use other means of transport thus reduce the total number of cars on the road. Further more, cars also have adverse effects on the health of the people. As a result of many cars on the road, it exhaust or fumes from its combustion causes air pollution. This can affect the upper respiratory system and predisposes people to asthma since they can not inhale clean air. In addition, it makes people to visit the hospital frequently as dust inhale can also give catarrh and cough. They money they ought to use to take care of other things will be spent on medications. For example, the statistics gotten from health journal published in Nursing world shows that, there are now increase rates of upper respiratory tract infections resulting from air pollution. All this could be curb if the numbers of cars are reduced thus people can live a healthy life. In conclusion, I totally opion that cars on the road have several negative effects on people's life as they causes many respiratory diseases and not only that, it also makes the environment unconducive because of the heavy traffic caused by having many cars on the road at the same period.
With the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, I
strongly
believe that they bring several demerits to both the environment and to the health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
traffic congestion making the environment unconducive. As both private and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
ply
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
due to the fact that everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and returns almost the same time. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
to be busy. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
to be in a dehabilitated state resulting from pot holes
thus
hinders the free movement of vehicles.
For instance
, individual always want to drive their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can determine their schedule and movement.
However
, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
other means of transport
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the road.

Further
more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
also
have adverse effects on the health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, it exhaust or fumes from its combustion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
air pollution. This can affect the upper respiratory system and predisposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to asthma since they can not inhale clean air.
In addition
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit the hospital
frequently
as dust inhale can
also
give catarrh and cough. They money they ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to take care of other things will
be spent
on medications.
For example
, the statistics gotten from health journal published in Nursing world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
increase rates of upper respiratory tract infections resulting from air pollution. All this could be curb if the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life.

In conclusion
, I
totally
opion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respiratory diseases and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the environment unconducive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the heavy traffic caused by having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
at the same period.
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IELTS essay Essay question: Do you agree that the advantages cars bring out weigh the disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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