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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

While searching for jobs, providing personal data is must. One has to answer professional as well as personal questions to find a suitable job. While some hold the view that this information is unnecessary as it promotes discrimination and ignorance of skills, others feel it is important for building team bonding and also assigning roles that suits the best. Firstly, skills and experience make an employee successful. Knowledge and quality of work should be taken into consideration rather than his marital status which has no impact on the efficacy of the person. To illustrate, the owner of one of the largest e-commerce company Amazon is married and is running the business successfully. Secondly, such information creates a sense of disparity among the colleagues. Groups are formed on the basis of whether a person id married or unmarried, single or divorced. For example, some people look down upon single or divorced parents. Thus, to maintain a healthy environment such details should be avoided. On the contrary, employees with similar interests get along well. It is the common hobbies and likes that bring unknown people together creating a team bonding and friendly ambience such as, colleagues having interest in dramatics or dance gives them a topic to discuss on and share their views. Furthermore, to appreciate the forte of the employee is the duty of the company. If not known, it would be shelved and not embraced. To illustrate, a person with interest in numbers might be assigned a role of a creative designer or vice versa. Thus, knowing in advance can prove beneficial. In my opinion, some information is important for a company to run smoothly while some should be made redundant. Knowing the interests and likes of people beforehand can help in binding team together and bringing the best out of them by giving them roles of their interest on the other hand, knowing the details of marital status can give birth to differences among team members.
While searching for jobs, providing personal data is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
answer professional
as well
as personal questions to find a suitable job. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hold the view that this information is unnecessary as it promotes discrimination and ignorance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, others feel it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
bonding and
also
assigning roles that suits the best.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an employee successful. Knowledge and quality of work should
be taken
into consideration
rather
than his marital status which has no impact on the efficacy of the person. To illustrate, the owner of one of the largest e-commerce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Amazon
is married
and is running the business
successfully
.
Secondly
, such information creates a sense of disparity among the colleagues. Groups
are formed
on the basis of whether a person id married or unmarried, single or divorced.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
look down upon single or divorced parents.
Thus
, to maintain a healthy environment such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
should
be avoided
.

On the contrary
, employees with similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along well. It is the common hobbies and likes that bring unknown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
together creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
bonding and friendly ambience such as, colleagues having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in dramatics or dance gives them a topic to discuss on and share their views.
Furthermore
, to appreciate the forte of the employee is the duty of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. If not known, it would
be shelved
and not embraced. To illustrate, a person with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in numbers might
be assigned
a role of a creative designer or vice versa.
Thus
, knowing in advance can prove beneficial.

In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to run
smoothly
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
should
be made
redundant. Knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
and likes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
beforehand can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in binding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
together and bringing the best out of them by giving them roles of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
on the other hand
, knowing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of marital status can give birth to differences among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members.
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IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.