Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Employer sometimes ask people applying for job for personal for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful while others disagree. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Knowing hobbies, interests and marital status of an individual by a prospective employer is considered to be relevant for the job requirement, in contrast many people think it to be irrelevant. I agree that in most of the cases it is important for the employer to know about these details of an individual. Understanding an individual better helps the employer hire right employees for their organization. Knowledge of hobbies, interests and marital status tells a lot about an individual including his attitude, area of interest and the way he/she spends most of his time. For example, for a technology design role, a person engaged in gadgets for his interest might be a right fit. Similarly, a marathoner might be a right fit to handle a job which needs patience. Hence, to align a person better with the organization these details seem important. Asking for personal information especially marital status is considered to be invasive by few people. They consider that marriage is a personal decision of an individual and it should not shape the professional career of an individual. There have been instances when married person with same set of skills has performed a job better than an unmarried person with the same set of skills and otherwise. Therefore, it is considered irrelevant and trivial. In my opinion, in a world of corporate citizenship where organizations are striving hard to hire right people, the information seems relevant. Today, organizations are not only cubicles with working spaces, but social entities with a set of cultures and values often shaped by employees. For example, an organization in order to make an equal space for LGBTQ people might give the community an advantage. To conclude, understanding a prospective employee better through these information helps the employer select right people for the job role and organization.
Knowing hobbies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
and marital status of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
by a prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
is considered
to be relevant for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirement,
in contrast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it to be irrelevant. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that in most of the cases it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
to know about these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of an individual.

Understanding an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
employees for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
. Knowledge of hobbies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
and marital status
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
a lot about an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
including his attitude, area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and the way he/she spends most of his time.
For example
, for a technology design role, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
engaged in gadgets for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
might be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
fit.
Similarly
, a marathoner might be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
fit to handle a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which needs patience.
Hence
, to align a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Asking for personal information
especially
marital status
is considered
to be invasive by few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They consider that marriage is a personal decision of an
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
individual and
it should not shape the professional career of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. There have been instances when married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with same set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
has performed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than an unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with the same set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
otherwise
.
Therefore
, it
is considered
irrelevant and trivial.

In my opinion, in a world of corporate citizenship where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are striving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the information seems relevant.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cubicles with working spaces,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
social entities with a set of cultures and values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
shaped by employees.
For example
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an equal space for LGBTQ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might give the community an advantage.

To conclude
, understanding a prospective employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
through
Did you mean “this information”? ‘Information’ is uncountable (except for a legal meaning).
these information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
role and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Employer sometimes ask people applying for job for personal for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful while others disagree.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts