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Employees during crisis in the UE.

Employees during crisis in the UE. YLNGB
To begin, in my opinion, we have to face this topic considering three aspects: International and national economic contests, the places where the employee works and finally, the coherence between work hours and salary. As far as the first element is concerned, nowadays EU economy suffers for recent crisis that cause relevant damages both for organisations and employees. Indeed, those events has had multiples effects about inflation, salaries and they has increased, due to the first element, low revenues tax pression. For these reasons and because of unsafely future, employees are considering maintaining their current occupation. Regarding working place, workers considering not just the salary but also their relations with colleagues and bosses which are fundamental for a happy working day and for productivity. For example, in many places people are frightened being fired If they try to complain and that bring them to avoid any workplace questions about safe work or daily hours, maybe to reduce it. A non-happy works places could bring workers to change their organisations with others where they might be experience a better treats by the new bosses. In conclusion, above coherence between work hours and salary, in my opinion that is the third element that workers must considered for their job changes. An equal and right salary make employee happy to work for their organisations indeed, companies which give more free time to their employees, records usually, a remarkable income rise, due to growing productivity by their worker who are less stressed and with large amount of happiness.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, in my opinion, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face this topic considering three aspects: International and national economic contests, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
works and
finally
, the coherence between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours and salary.

As far as the
first
element
is concerned
, nowadays EU economy suffers for recent crisis that cause relevant damages both for
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and employees.

Indeed
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
has had multiples effects about inflation,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
salaries and
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "have", "haven"
has
increased, due to the
first
element, low revenues tax
Possible spelling mistake found.
pression
.

For these reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
unsafely
future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are considering maintaining their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
occupation.

Regarding working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
considering not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their relations with colleagues and bosses which are fundamental for a happy working day and for productivity.

For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are frightened
being fired
If they try to complain and that bring them to avoid any workplace questions about safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or daily hours, maybe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it.

A non-happy works
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
could bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
with others where they might be experience a better treats by the new bosses.

In conclusion
, above coherence between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, in my opinion
that is
the third element that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
considered for their job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

An equal and right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
happy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
indeed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which give more free time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, records
usually
, a remarkable income rise, due to growing productivity by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
who are less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and with large amount of happiness.
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IELTS essay Employees during crisis in the UE.

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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