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Elderly people are nowadays being sent to old aged homes rather than being looked after by family in homes. Do the advantages of old aged homes outweigh the disadvantages?

Elderly people are nowadays being sent to old aged homes rather than being looked after by family in homes. Do the advantages of old aged homes outweigh the disadvantages? 0XO1
Elderly people are nowadays being sent to old aged homes rather than being looked after by family in homes. Do the advantages of old aged homes outweigh the disadvantages? These days elderly care homes are becoming more popular than ever. Rather than, being taken care by the family members, the elders are being deployed to care houses. This essays demonstrates why the disadvantage such as, lack of time with family outweigh the advantage, which is good care. On one hand, the major negative outcome of these facilities is that the old people are not spending quality time with their families. It is pivotal to spend the last days of their life economically. Hence, staying with the loved ones, playing with grandchildren, and looking back at the memories and sharing those with others are the best methods to stay in good spirit. These tiny things will drive them to live a bit longer and happier life, when compared to staying in monitored houses. For instance, a survey conducted by National Health Association stated that life expectancy of people staying in care centers is gradually decreasing when compared to people living with their loved ones. On the other hand, the major benefit from these places is that, the people are in good hands and they are being taken care more efficiently. It is important to provide healthy environment for elders to get on with their lives, and these aged homes exactly do the same. They provide all necessary amenities and pleasant environment for them to have an extended life. For example, A care center in U. K has 50 members over 100 years out of 120 members, this states that good care will enable them have a healthy life, and help them to live for a longer duration. To conclude, it is obvious that the disadvantage of not being able to spend the rest of the life with their own family members will affect the elders mentally and emotionally, rather than the several benefits of having good care in an old age home.
Elderly
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people
are nowadays being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
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old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
rather
than
being looked
after by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Do the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
outweigh the disadvantages?

These days elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are becoming more popular than ever.
Rather
than,
being taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, the elders are
being deployed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
essays
You should probably use "demonstrate".
demonstrates
why the disadvantage such as, lack of time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
outweigh the advantage, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
care.

On one hand, the major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome of these facilities is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not spending quality time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. It is pivotal to spend the last days of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
economically
.
Hence
, staying with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones, playing with grandchildren, and looking back at the memories and sharing those with others are the best methods to stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
spirit. These tiny things will drive them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a bit longer and happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, when compared to staying in monitored
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
For instance
, a survey conducted by National Health Association stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
staying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
centers is
gradually
decreasing when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

On the other hand
, the major benefit from these places is that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hands and
they are
being taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
more
efficiently
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to provide healthy environment for elders to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and these aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
exactly do the same. They provide all necessary amenities and pleasant environment for them to have an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
center in U. K has 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
over 100 years out of 120
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, this states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
will enable them have a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for a longer duration.

To conclude
, it is obvious that the disadvantage of not being able to spend the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
will affect the elders mentally and
emotionally
,
rather
than the several benefits of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age home.
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IELTS essay Elderly people are nowadays being sent to old aged homes rather than being looked after by family in homes. Do the advantages of old aged homes outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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