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Education Su tem is significantly commercialised in every part of the world

Education Su tem is significantly commercialised in every part of the world 7Pkek
Education is important tool to have in this world. It is way of imparting knowledge, skill and learning. Education is the first thing come after basic necessities. In contrast, education has been commercialised now a days in every corner of the world to let more people be access easily. I believe, education has been commercialised in many ways, which further discussed in the essay. First of all, commercialisation brings many changes in educational patten. It has been now a business of knowledge. In today's world, private education fees touches the sky, it has became hurdle for the backward and middle class people. Although, education emphasis more on marks rather than focus on knowledge and one's development. Besides this, there are many merits of commercialised education such as it will lead to better opportunities in terms of job and employment. Even, it will help to overcome the global challenges. Although, increase in number of educational institution will provide better educational opportunities. Secondly, Many educational institutions acquiring higher companies which provide better job opportunities for the students. People can find job orientated course, which help to getter better job. Overall, there are many advantages of commercialised education system which helps to improve employment same time it also help to develop one's personality and make student cable to withstand on global world.
Education
is
important
tool to have in this
world
. It is way of imparting knowledge,
skill
and learning.
Education
is the
first
thing
come
after
basic necessities
.
In contrast
,
education
has been
commercialised
now a days
in every corner of the
world
to
let
more
people
be access
easily
. I believe,
education
has been
commercialised
in
many
ways, which
further
discussed in the essay.

First of all
,
commercialisation
brings
many
changes
in
educational
patten
. It has been
now
a business of knowledge. In
today
's
world
, private
education
fees touches the sky, it has
became
hurdle for the backward and middle
class
people
.

Although,
education
emphasis more on marks
rather
than focus on knowledge and one's development.

Besides
this, there are
many
merits of
commercialised
education
such as it will lead to
better
opportunities in terms of job and employment. Even, it will
help
to overcome the global challenges.
Although
, increase in number of
educational
institution will provide
better
educational
opportunities.
Secondly
,
Many
educational
institutions acquiring higher
companies
which provide
better
job opportunities for the students.
People
can find job orientated course, which
help
to getter
better
job.

Overall
, there are
many
advantages of
commercialised
education
system which
helps
to
improve
employment same time it
also
help
to develop one's personality and
make
student cable to withstand on global
world
.
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IELTS essay Education Su tem is significantly commercialised in every part of the world

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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