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Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. mq5N
Admittedly, financial point of view, owing to the fact that people come from different backgrounds, such as, poor, middle income families, they are not able to spend money on taking courses at educational places. How can unskilled part-time employees who make ends meet afford to pay for education? Instead, such kind of people or their children have to drop out of school, university and so on. Turning to the other side of this issue, as we live in a materialistic era, the quality of education higly depends on its cost, which is an undeniable fact among people worldwide. The more one is ablo to afford to invest in order to acquire knowledge, the better education will be provided for him or her. Why do some people in Uzbekistan try to avoid taking their children at some schools under the government. This is primarily because low levels of teaching methods, poorly equipped rooms and so on, which is one consequence of free education. As a result, people tend to choose high quality education even though it requires payment, which is not a preference but necessity. All things considered, paid education has more advantages in comparison with the one which is quite free of charge.
Admittedly
, financial point of view, owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds, such as, poor, middle income families, they are not able to spend money on taking courses at educational places. How can unskilled part-time employees who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
afford to pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
?
Instead
, such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
drop out of school, university and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Turning to the other side of this issue, as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a materialistic era, the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake found.
higly
depends on its cost, which is an undeniable fact among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide. The more one is
Possible spelling mistake found.
ablo
to afford to invest in order to acquire knowledge, the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will
be provided
for him or her. Why do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Uzbekistan try to avoid taking their children at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools under the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This is
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
low levels of teaching methods,
poorly
equipped rooms and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, which is one consequence of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to choose high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
even though
it requires payment, which is not a preference
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
necessity.

All things considered, paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has more advantages
in comparison
with the one which is quite free of charge.
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IELTS essay Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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