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Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects? Vb03
Art symbolizes history and culture. Subsequently different era has its own peculiar artistic technique hence put its mark on that Era. Young minds Having knowledge of art is immensely essential on the other hand children having interest and knowledge of various streams will make them ready for todays challenges. In the following paragraphs lets delve the importance of arts as well as of other educational streams for over all development of school goers. Art is a vast subject on one end it has Painting, Sculpture, Stone carving on the other music, dance etc. In the light of the fact all of it shapes our culture For example ancient pyramids of Egypt signifies the living of the people during that timeline Moreover paintings on the wall and sculpture showed how they use to preserve the dead for long time, also called as mummification. There fore its important for kids to know about the Art. Eventually some of parents motivate their kids to learn any art whether its singing or painting or dancing not only it sharpen their mind but a lot of people in mentioned profession earn mobile number salary. I think art do play essential role in students life in better understanding of culture. But just learning art is not fruit full in internet age. Kids must be taught about Science, Math, Language, Computers, Marketing and Many more, On one hand extremely essential for overall development of a kid. On the other hand he has wide variety of carriers or Profession to choose from, Not just carrier or development a lot of time it can help them in day to day life for example a short course on hardware management make a kid able to minor repair of computers themselves. At the end I want to conclude it by saying every knowledge or skill we acquire as a kid or later in our life is important because we don't know when we can apply it in our life professionally or in general, Therefore with respect to kids its essential to put equal emphasis on every subject since the beginning to make them fully ready for every challenge.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
symbolizes history and culture.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Subsequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
era has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
peculiar artistic technique
hence
put its mark on that Era. Young minds Having knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
immensely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essential
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand children having interest and knowledge of various streams will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them ready for
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
challenges. In the following paragraphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
delve the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as well
as of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
educational streams for over all development of school goers.

Art is a vast subject on one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it has Painting, Sculpture, Stone carving on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
music, dance etc. In the light of the fact all of it shapes our culture
For example
ancient pyramids of Egypt signifies the living of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
during that timeline
Moreover
paintings on the wall and sculpture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
how they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
preserve the dead for long time,
also
called as mummification.
This word is normally spelled as one.
There fore
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
.
Eventually
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the parents") or simply say "some parents".
some of parents
motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to learn any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
whether its singing or painting or dancing not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it
Did you mean "sharpens"?
sharpen
their mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in mentioned profession earn mobile number salary. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
do play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essential
role in students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in better understanding of culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not
Consider using a past participle here: "fruited".
fruit
full in internet age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
about Science, Math, Language, Computers, Marketing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
more, On one hand
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essential
for
overall
development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand he has wide variety of carriers or Profession to choose from, Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
carrier or development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for example
a short course on hardware management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
able to minor repair of computers themselves.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
I want
to conclude
it by saying every knowledge or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
we acquire as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
or later in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we don't know when we can apply it in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
professionally
or
in general
,
Therefore
with respect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essential
to put equal emphasis on every subject since the beginning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
fully
ready for every challenge.
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IELTS essay Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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