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In some countries the elderly are highly valued and respected , while in others youth is more highly valued . Discuss both side and give your own opinion.

In some countries the elderly are highly valued and respected, while in others youth is more highly valued. rVkp
It is often argued that in some part of the world, older generation are given more priority, however youngstars are considered much importance in other nations. This essay will highlight both views and also elaborate why young generation are essential for rapid development of a country. On the one hand, elder people are known as backbone for the progress of nation and they are given more valued rather than youth. In other words, some nations believe that they have many experience as well as knowledge foe the postive change of the nation. To illustrate, many Asian countries value to people of older ages and also handed every power to them. As a result many skilled youth are leaving their land for better life. On the other hand, young generation are given more priority because they are not only physically strong but also they have much more mental strength. Moreover, young people poesses courage to do any sort of work effectively and efficiently. A country with a young leader progress faster than a country with older leader. For instance, Korea, where a President of 22 years prove that youth has power to change the nation if they are provided with proper opportunities. Thus, young generation can playa vital role for changing the nation into positive way. In my opinion, youngstars must be given chance to tackle any problems instead of older people. If they get proper opportunities than they will develop the country smoothly. Therefore, young leaders play a key role for rapid progress of the society. In conclusion, although elderly have experienced, youth are essential for the changing the world. So, more valued should be provided to youth in compare to older person.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more priority,
however
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngstars
are considered
much importance in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. This essay will highlight both views and
also
elaborate why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation are essential for rapid development of a country.

On the one hand, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are known
as backbone for the progress of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nation and
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more valued
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
believe that they have
Possible agreement error. The noun experience seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much experience", "a good deal of experience".
many experience
as well
as knowledge foe the
Possible spelling mistake found.
postive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
value to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
ages and
also
handed every power to them.
As a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are leaving their land for better life.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more priority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physically
strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they have much more mental strength.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
poesses
courage to do any sort of work
effectively
and
efficiently
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
leader progress faster than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
leader.
For instance
, Korea, where a President of 22 years prove that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
has power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
if they
are provided
with proper opportunities.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation can
Possible spelling mistake found.
playa
vital role for changing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.

In my opinion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngstars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chance to tackle any problems
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper opportunities than they will develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
smoothly
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
leaders play a key role for rapid progress of the society.

In conclusion
, although elderly have experienced,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are essential for the changing the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, more valued should
be provided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
in compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
person.
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IELTS essay In some countries the elderly are highly valued and respected, while in others youth is more highly valued.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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