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During lockdown, peopel are worrying about being at home. For you, what are disadvanteges of this?

During lockdown, peopel are worrying about being at home. For you, what are disadvanteges of this? 9Q1MX
Most people nowadays are worrying about social distancing, they are even obsessed about keeping themself at home. However, this has pros and cons. In this essay, we will find out [b]about the advantages of being at home when lockdown is happening. To begin with, we have plenty of time to reunite with our beloved connections. Running in the hustle and bustle of the working world, we seem to lack the moments to take care of our family. In the period of isolation, union is abundant for us. We are able to meet our parents, and siblings day by day and have a conversation in terms of everything happening to the world frequently. We are no longer afraid whether their health is good or not. Any time they are sick, we are capable of being by their side. Besides, we will have more time to cook or learn how to make cuisines for our family. Secondly, since it is unnecessary to drive, we can save up our expense on commuting as well. Instead of anxiety about traffic jams or traffic accidents, we only need to turn on our laptop or mobile phone to work and study at any time/ a moment’s notice. It is also comfortable for our health because of not respiring in the polluted environment daily. Lastly, during social distancing time, we have adequate time to learn a new skill or language. Numerous people take advantage of this time to boost themself to a greater level. Keeping ourself from going outside is fine when we think positively and draw up a plan to do during Covid-19 lockdown. No worry, no decrease.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays are worrying about social distancing, they are even obsessed about keeping
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
at home.
However
, this has pros and cons. In this essay, we will find out [b]about the advantages of being at home when lockdown is happening.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reunite with our beloved connections. Running in the hustle and bustle of the working world, we seem to lack the moments to take care of our family. In the period of isolation, union is abundant for us. We are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
our parents, and siblings day by day and have a conversation in terms of everything happening to the world
frequently
. We are no longer afraid whether their health is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or not. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they are sick, we are capable of being by their side.
Besides
, we will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook or learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
cuisines for our family.

Secondly
, since it is unnecessary to drive, we can save up our expense on commuting
as well
.
Instead
of anxiety about traffic jams or traffic accidents, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to turn on our laptop or mobile phone to work and study at any time/ a moment’s notice. It is
also
comfortable for our health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not respiring in the polluted environment daily.

Lastly
, during social distancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, we have adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to learn a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
or language. Numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take advantage of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to boost
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
to a greater level.

Keeping
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
from going outside is fine when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
positively
and draw up a plan to do during Covid-19 lockdown. No worry, no decrease.
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IELTS essay During lockdown, peopel are worrying about being at home. For you, what are disadvanteges of this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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