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Due to the influence of worldwide media such as tv and computers the gap between culture is narrowing . The introduction of this 'global culture" is of great benefit to the world. To what extend do you agree with this viewpoint?

Some people believe that social media has reduced the distance between world wide culture which has been known as "global culture". I, however disagree with this given statement on the basis of unbalanced prospective of international media and financial aim of media tycoons. To begin, the media tend to concentrate on just some particular groups of people, so the public doesn't get a balanced perspective. As an example, news broadcasts often represent the view point of its owner rather than an objective opinion. Global culture not only don't provide the whole attitude of various people, but also bold exact groups of people. Moreover, media capitalist 's main attention is just to make money and undoubtedly marketing gimmicks are much more easier than making a product of lasting value. At the same time businessmen are more absorbed in markets rather than morals and virtues so will not engross in controvesrsial stories of being afraid of offending the local government. Ton conclude, i personally take the view that it is ethically unacceptable to interpret the narrowing culture gab will be created based on the appearance of social media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the distance between
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which has
been known
as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
global culture
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I,
however
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement on the basis of unbalanced prospective of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and financial aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
tycoons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
tend to concentrate on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the public doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a balanced perspective. As an example, news broadcasts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
represent the view point of its owner
rather
than an objective opinion. Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
don't provide the whole attitude of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bold exact groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
capitalist 's main attention is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money and
undoubtedly
marketing gimmicks are much
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
than making a product of lasting value. At the same time businessmen are more absorbed in markets
rather
than morals and virtues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will not engross in
Possible spelling mistake found.
controvesrsial
stories of being afraid of offending the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Ton conclude,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
take the view that it is
ethically
unacceptable to interpret the narrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
gab will
be created
based on the appearance of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.

IELTS essay Due to the influence of worldwide media such as tv and computers the gap between culture is narrowing. The introduction of this 'global culture" is of great benefit to the world.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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