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Due to the growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Because of the concerns that an increasing population of overweight people is causing Some people claim that the secret to addressing these problems is the health care system. Get more games in schools and workout. I believe fully, in my opinion, that this It is the only way to fix the problem of weight-related degradation in public health. Next, it is best to deal with the issues around obesity and weight problems Fixed by adopting a long-term strategy and introducing more sport and exercise For colleges. This strategy would ensure that the next generation is healthier and will be healthier. Don't have such problems with your health. The average child in the West, at the moment, does sport twice a week, which is not enough to counteract otherwise, A sedentary type of life. Nonetheless, by combining more sports classes into theAs well as promoting extracurricular sporting activities, the program will To become fitter and more involved, certainly. Additionally, reducing calorie intake is also a good way to lose weight. Overweight people could reduce their calorie intake and try to eat more healthy, a study conducted at Cambridge University illustrated that the better way to lose weight is by minimizing big calorie intake because nutrition holds 80 percent of weight reduction
Because
of the concerns that an increasing population of overweight
people
is causing

Some
people
claim that the secret to addressing these problems is the health care system.
Get
more games in schools and workout. I believe
fully
, in my opinion, that this

It is the
only
way to
fix
the problem of weight-related degradation in public health.

Next
, it is best to deal with the issues around obesity and
weight
problems

Fixed
by adopting a long-term strategy and introducing more sport and exercise

For colleges. This strategy would ensure that the
next
generation is healthier and will be healthier. Don't have such problems with your health. The average child in the West, at the moment, does sport twice a week, which is not
enough
to counteract
otherwise
,

A sedentary type of life. Nonetheless, by combining more sports classes into theAs well as promoting extracurricular sporting activities, the program will

To become fitter and more involved,
certainly
.

Additionally
, reducing calorie intake is
also
a
good
way to lose
weight
. Overweight
people
could
reduce
their calorie intake and try to eat more healthy, a study conducted at Cambridge University illustrated that the better way to lose
weight
is by minimizing
big
calorie intake
because
nutrition holds 80 percent of
weight
reduction
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Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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