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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. AMKx
Some people assert that development and fast growing of supermarkets in some regions, effects the local businesses and made them hard to survive therefore local communities are about to end. To some extent, I personally agree about the local stores, but I also agree the fast growth of supermarkets. Firstly, as population is growing day by day, the requirements of people is also increasing, as a result number of stores are growing rapidly. Secondly, I think there will not be any comparison between the supermarkets and local stores because some of the items which are not found in local stores can be found in supermarkets. And people can buy bulk quantity of goods with cheaper price, they can supply any type of goods because they are financially strong than local stores. However, I still support the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets because these can’t be placed every where. These supermarkets provides very good offers and attracts the people, and supermarkets can provide job opportunities for the local people. Though the people buy small things and vegetables in their nearby local stores, because for these small things people can’t go to the supermarkets. Another reason is local stores treat their customers with good relationship and they will be in touch with their loyal customers, so that they can know their needs and supply them. In this way local stores can survive. And this process is very hard and impossible for supermarkets. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages on existence of supermarkets for the local people. And it is difficult for local stores to compete with the supermarkets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that development and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
growing of supermarkets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions, effects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses and made them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities are about to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
growth of supermarkets.

Firstly
, as population is growing day by day, the requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
also
increasing,
as a result
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are growing
rapidly
.
Secondly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there will not be any comparison between the supermarkets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
items which are not found in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
can
be found
in supermarkets. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
bulk quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
with cheaper price, they can supply any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
financially
strong than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores.

However
, I
still
support the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "this can" or "these cans"?
these can
’t
be placed
Did you mean "everywhere"?
every where
. These supermarkets
You should probably use "provide".
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
offers and attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and supermarkets can provide job opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things and vegetables in their nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t go to the supermarkets.

Another reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
treat their customers with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
relationship and
they will be in touch with their loyal customers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can know their needs and supply them. In this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
can survive. And this process is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and impossible for supermarkets.

In conclusion
, there are both advantages and disadvantages on existence of supermarkets for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
to compete with the supermarkets.
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IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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