Search
Vocabularying
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. n80K

In few countries, a lot of beginners and businesses are not able to improve their trade because of increasing super marts more than ever. While, few percentages believe that, local business could die with their areas. However, I strongly believe that, nowadays supermarkets are surrounding huge marketing for picking up the customer attention on their field. Nonetheless, I do not agree with that the local markets will vanish from our communities if they have a tiny space to organize their business. First of all, nowadays super shops are leading the competitive market therefore; they have a wide range of marketing policy which picks the client attention to them. However, without advertising massive companies could lose their market place in the supermarket business. For instance, Nestle is the most popular company in our county as well as a super shop and they are leading all the supermarkets with their excellent branding. Consequently, marketing is highly beneficial for achieving the marketplace. Whereas, the small company they do not have enough revenue for doing marketing. Secondly, street markets are essential for local areas and they will never unseen from the market zoon. Local markets are not required a gigantic space to decorate their business. While, supermarkets are expecting large position to organize their business. However, it would be more profitable if they could arrange everything in the same place and they do not need to spend huge currency to develop their business like the modern market. Hence, with a small location, it is possible to enroll a tiny business. To summarized, it is not acceptable that the street business will be never seen the future in the local areas. Although, they just required a small place to organize their occupation in this circumstance. Moreover, currently modern markets are following advertisements policy to get more customers.

In few countries, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
 beginners and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
businesses
 are not able to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improve
 their trade This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of increasing super marts more than ever. While, few percentages believe that, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprovincialregional
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
 could This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :pass away
die
 with their areas. However
, I strongly
 believe that, nowadays supermarkets are surrounding huge marketing for picking up the customer attention on their field. Nonetheless, I do not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 with that the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprovincialregional
local
 markets will vanish from our communities if they have a tiny space to organize their business.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, nowadays super shops are leading the competitive You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadvertiseretaildisplay
market
therefore
; they have a wide range of marketing policy which picks the client attention to them. However
, without advertising massive This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisescorporations
companies
 could lose their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadvertiseretaildisplay
market
 place in the supermarket You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
. For instance
, Nestle is the most popular This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
 in our county as well
 as a super Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).shop, and
shop and
 they are leading all the supermarkets with their excellent branding. Consequently
, marketing is highly
 beneficial for achieving the marketplace. Whereas, the This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
 they do not have This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
enough
 revenue for doing marketing.

Secondly
, street markets are essential for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprovincialregional
local
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).areas, and
areas and
 they The word 'unseen' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
will never unseen
 from the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadvertiseretaildisplay
market
Possible spelling mistake found.soonmoonMoonzoonoonZion
zoon
. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprovincialregional
Local
 markets are not required a gigantic space to decorate their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
. “While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, supermarkets are expecting large position to organize their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
. However
, it would be more profitable if they could arrange everything in the same Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).place, and
place and
 they do not need to spend huge currency to develop their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
 like the modern You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadvertiseretaildisplay
market
. Hence
, with a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
small
 location, it is possible to enroll a tiny business.

To summarized, it is not acceptable that the street You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfieldworkemploymenttrade
business
The adverb 'never' is usually put between 'will' and 'be'.will never be
will be never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
seen
 the future in the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withprovincialregional
local
 areas. “Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, they This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 required a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
small
 place to organize their occupation in this circumstance. Moreover
, currently
 modern markets are following advertisements policy to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 more customers. 