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Due to advances in science and technologies, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or negative development?

Due to advances in science and technologies, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or negative development? JoLq6
The reason why the type of the living of people in all around the world become similar is that technologies and science were improved more than they used to be. From my point of view, the influence of the proposed improvement have positive effect on our life. In this article we are going to discuss about the progresses in two aspects of medical science and communication. There was not any cure for some infective diseases many years ago. This could propel people into the death, ought to lack of medical equipment. As medical science is starting to grow, its devices and also drugs become more efficient. As a consequence, lot of incurable diseases were vanished. Further improvements in the proposed era could lead to higher level of health and hygiene; in particular, artificial hands could able disabilities to touch staffs and their self-esteem and confidence are boosted. To long story short, the life tendency of people is increase. People used to write a letter in order to communicate to each other due to the fact that there was no alternatives. Although a number of them could reach to its destination, some of them might lost. As the Radio Frequency (RF) signal technology was developed, people had been able to communicate with each other. Nowadays, these RF signals are utilizing in mobile phones. So, we can now communicate with other people in all around the world easily. In conclusion, were there no progress in technology, we would not attain to many of our goal today. So as much as technology improves, our life would be spectacular. We will have been able to life in other planet. The dream that may of our generation might had had.
The reason why the type of the living of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all around the world become similar is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and science were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
more than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. From my point of view, the influence of the proposed improvement have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this article we are going to
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
progresses in two aspects of medical science and communication.

There was not any cure for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
infective diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago. This could propel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into the death, ought to lack of medical equipment. As medical science is starting to grow, its devices and
also
drugs become more efficient. As a consequence, lot of incurable diseases
were vanished
.
Further
improvements in the proposed era could lead to higher level of health and hygiene;
in particular
, artificial hands
Did you mean "could be able"?
could able
disabilities to touch staffs and their self-esteem and confidence
are boosted
. To long story short, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is increase.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to write a letter in order to communicate to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
due to the fact that
Did you mean "there were no alternatives"?
there was no alternatives
. Although a number of them could reach to its destination,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
. As the Radio Frequency (RF) signal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was developed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had been able to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Nowadays, these RF signals are utilizing in mobile phones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all around the world
easily
.

In conclusion
, were there no progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, we would not attain to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of our goal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be spectacular. We will have been able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planet. The dream that may of our generation might had had.
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IELTS essay Due to advances in science and technologies, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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