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Doctors prefer to work in the city than rural areas. Write the reasons and solutions

Doctors prefer to work in the city than rural areas. Write the reasons and solutions 53boV
Nowadays in our society one of the vital problem is that the lack of knowledgeable doctors in rural areas. Not only doctors but also other specialists also prefer to work in the cities as there are several reasons for that issue. Firstly, the hospitals conditions are not so satisfied that modern equipped wards are not found in the country-side. Furthermore, doctors are not able to get any kind of perks and high salary as they spent much money to study and get diploma. Moreover, specialists are ought to lead research works in order to inhence their knowledge to cure various types of deseas. However for these need materials, internet connection and laboratories which is problem in rural areas. If the government maintains the hospitals with up-to-date tools and qualitative medicines as well as satisfied salary for doctors this problem will be solved. This also will be good for patients who are suffering from serious illnesses and financial difficulties as they also spending huge amount of sums for treatment in the city.
Nowadays in our society one of the vital problem is that the lack of knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
in rural areas. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other specialists
also
prefer to work in the cities as there are several reasons for that issue.
Firstly
, the hospitals conditions are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
satisfied that modern equipped wards are not found in the country-side.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any kind of perks and high salary as they spent much money to study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diploma.
Moreover
, specialists are ought to lead research works in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhence
their knowledge to cure various types of
Possible spelling mistake found.
deseas
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
for these need materials, internet connection and laboratories which is problem in rural areas. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
maintains the hospitals with up-to-date tools and qualitative medicines
as well
as satisfied salary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
this problem will
be solved
. This
also
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for patients who are suffering from serious illnesses and financial difficulties as they
also
spending huge amount of sums for treatment in the city.
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IELTS essay Doctors prefer to work in the city than rural areas. Write the reasons and solutions

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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