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Do young people today make good use of their lsisure time? or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

There are some discussions that youngsters are spending their spare time on doing something useless, such as watching television and playing video games. However, is it really the case? In the past, there were no television and computer games. Teenagers were either playing sports or doing out-door activities, as a result, adults did not know where their children had gone and had played with. Despite the fact children are staying at home today, adults obviously know they are doing nothing but only playing video games. This is one reason why people think teenagers are wasting their time. On the other hand, due to the growth of technology, there are many disturbances affecting us, including young people. During working and reseaching on the internet, there are many advertistments encouraging us to do different things. These things make use difficult to concentrate even we want to build up a habit in our downtime. Youngsters would have the same case. From my point of view, all people nowadays are not spending much time in doing valuable activities, not only youngsters. However, there are many courses teaching us how to exist from the technology, which teach us how to use time probably. Youngsters should investigate into it as it is important to build up a proper habit when they are young. After they have a proper habit, it also can help to build up their carrer path when they grow. To conclude, young people today and in the past are actually similar. They would spend free time on doing things not productive. And, due to the improvement of technology, it makes us more difficult to focus on meanful activities. Last but not least, building up a proper habit is an important item for youngsters which they can benefits much after they grow.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discussions that youngsters are spending their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
something useless, such as watching television and playing video games.
However
, is it
really
the case?

In the past, there were no television and computer games.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
were either playing sports or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
out-door activities,
as a result
, adults did not know where their children had gone and had played with. Despite the fact children are staying at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, adults
obviously
know they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
playing video games. This is one reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are wasting their time.

On the other hand
, due to the growth of technology, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disturbances affecting us, including young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. During working and
Possible spelling mistake found.
reseaching
on the internet, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertistments
encouraging us to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things. These things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
difficult to concentrate even we want to build up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
in our downtime. Youngsters would have the same case.

From my point of view, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are not spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
valuable activities, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
youngsters.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
courses teaching us how to exist from the technology, which teach us how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
probably
. Youngsters should investigate into it as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build up a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
when they are young. After they have a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
, it
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build up their
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
path when they grow.

To conclude
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and in the past are actually similar. They would spend free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things not productive. And, due to the improvement of technology, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us more difficult to focus on
Possible spelling mistake found.
meanful
activities. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, building up a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
item for youngsters which they can
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
benefits
much after they grow.
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IELTS essay Do young people today make good use of their lsisure time? or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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