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Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? wBJol
We have achieved impressive medical breakthroughs and new healthcares that make miracles and help people yo live better. We managed to cure diseases and even fatal diseases over the years. This as an alarming trend according to some while I firmly believe that longer life expectancy offers far many advantages than demerits. Ultra-modern facilities and advanced medicines have transformed medical facilities and cured many deadly diseases. With improved lifespan, people can contribute more to society. In my opinion, there are many more advantages than disadvantages since not only are there new scientific advances and new discoveries, We have also improved in the part of medicine and and medical science. In conclusion, thanks to the enhanced medical facilities due to which we now live longer and be part of the progress. This enhanced life expectancy is a blessing for the human race. We must continue with the research and resources to have a longer life with health. We have evolved so much on this issue and it has been a success in society. we must spend more time with those we love and enjoy life because life is only one.
We have achieved impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
breakthroughs and new

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
healthcares
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
miracles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Did you mean "to", "you" or "your"?
yo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better.

We managed to cure diseases and even fatal diseases over the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
years
. This as an alarming trend according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
while I
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
firmly


believe that longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy offers far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages

Did you mean "Then"?
than
demerits. Ultra-modern facilities and advanced
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
medicines


have transformed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities and cured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deadly

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
diseases
. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
lifespan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can contribute more
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
society
. In my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more advantages
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
than


disadvantages since not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are there new scientific advances

and new discoveries, We have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in the part of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
medicine
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
science.
In conclusion
, thanks to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


enhanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities due to which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
part of the progress. This enhanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is a blessing for the human race. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
continue with the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
research


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
resources to have a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with health. We have
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
evolved


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
much on this issue and it has been a success in society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend more time with those we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
life
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one.
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IELTS essay Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
18 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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