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Do you prefer to change or not?

Every human being has his own bad and good sides. As human beings, we try to change ourselves only to the good side. But some people argue that one has to take a risk and try to change and some claim that a person has to stay unchanged. As I mentioned earlier, trying to change is a big risk. A person can lose control in himself while adopting a new lifestyle. For instance, imagine a goalkeeper who wants to change his position on the football field and he tries to learn new skills and he spends more time learning how to kick a ball instead of learning how to save his football gates from goal. And imagine the goalkeeper cannot adapt to the new conditions, he cannot learn how to kick the ball properly, he cannot learn how to give a pass, etc. He wasted a lot of time which he could have used to improve his goalkeeper skills. This is just one simple example, but there are a lot of people who waste not only their time but also their health and money. Scientists claim that a person cannot change or it will be very hard to change after the age of 30. So, according to scientists, one has 30 years to change himself. I am only critiquing doing change, but there are good sides of changing. One can change his bad habits like smoking, sleeping a lot, going out at night, etc. I would love to give advice to such people that they have to make these changes by small steps because they can lose their desire and motivation to make a change. “The first step is always the hardest”, so it is another piece of advice to these people, that it is important to make the first step toward this goal to make a change. Also, including the fact that the pace of life has increased, it is important for a person to make an alter and progress with time. Because technologies are developing and they became part of us. To sum up, everything in life has its advantages and disadvantages and it is up to a person to take a risk and make an alter in his life or to stay unchanged and improve his current abilities and knowledge.
Every human being has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides. As human beings, we try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
ourselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
stay unchanged.

As I mentioned earlier, trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can lose control in himself while adopting a new lifestyle.
For instance
, imagine a goalkeeper who wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
his position on the football field and he tries to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and he spends more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
learning how to kick a ball
instead
of learning how to save his football gates from goal. And imagine the goalkeeper cannot adapt to the new conditions, he cannot learn how to kick the ball
properly
, he cannot learn how to give a pass, etc. He wasted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which he could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his goalkeeper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one simple example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who waste not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their health and money.

Scientists claim that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
or it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
after the age of 30.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to scientists, one has 30 years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
himself. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
critiquing doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides of changing. One can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits like smoking, sleeping a lot, going out at night, etc. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to give advice to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can lose their desire and motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. “The
first
step is always the hardest”,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is another piece of advice to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
first
step toward this goal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Also
, including the fact that the pace of life has increased, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an alter and progress with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
technologies are developing and they became part of us.

To sum up, everything in life has its advantages and disadvantages and it is up to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an alter in his life or to stay unchanged and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
abilities and knowledge.
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IELTS essay Do you prefer to change or not?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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