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Do you agree that the most important thing in a job is the salary

Do you agree that the most important thing in a job is the salary o5e1V
Nowadays, from the beginning of education we go through the whole school with a goal, and it is to find a certain job and to secure money for life. We all have desires that we would like to achieve and do the work we love. A lot of people today don't do jobs they like, they come to work because they have to pay for wages. I feel that money is important when choosing work, but it is not only important money, but whether we are happy at this job, whether we come to work satisfied and what work colleagues are. In my opinion, it is an important work environment without stress. Work in the hazardous industry may lead to consequences which cannot be compensated by any sums of money. For example, the people working in the mining industry risk burying them while digging in the mines. Even though they're well paid, their pay won't help them if they die or seriously hurt themselves. We need money to live, but nothing is worth it, if the job creates pressure and stress, it would be better to give up that job and ask for a better job. In conclusion, even though money is important, there are other considerations that show equally important. And so far there's no research that shows that a fat paycheck beats all other factors in terms of the role they play in making one happy.
Nowadays, from the beginning of education we go through the whole school with a goal, and it is to find a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and to secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for life. We all have desires that we would like to achieve and do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
don't do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they like, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for wages. I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
when choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
whether we are happy at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, whether we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
satisfied and what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
colleagues are. In my opinion, it is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
in the hazardous industry may lead to consequences which cannot
be compensated
by any sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in the mining industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
burying them while digging in the mines.
Even though
they're well paid, their pay won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
or
seriously
hurt themselves. We need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nothing is worth it, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
creates pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, it would be better to give up that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, there are other considerations that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far there's no research that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
paycheck beats all other factors in terms of the role they play in making one happy.
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IELTS essay Do you agree that the most important thing in a job is the salary

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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