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Do you agree that the advantages of car brings outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you agree that the advantages of car brings outweigh the disadvantages? r8aOo
Due to the advance of technology, car has played a crucial role in modern life. Although car still creates some negative effects on the environment, the benefit it brings is prominent. Car is an effective transport mean for passengers. Travelling by car is faster and safer than other traditional and modern vehicles such as horse, motorbike or bike. A car has the seat bells and its shell to protect the passengers in a normal accident while horse, motorbike and bike users could expose themselves to the road and have trouble if they fall out. Additionally, car is flexible to travelling around cities; it can transport different numbers of the passenger in a different time and destination schedule. The travelling schedule of a car is flexible due to purposes of drives and passengers while train or flight have their fixed time and schedule paths. On the other hand, the drawbacks of the car could be reduced in different effective ways. Firstly, we are reducing the emission from car by using clean energy instead of fuel oil. For example, there are several manufacturers and scientists are investigating to produce cars using Bioenergy, which is renewable and safe energy. Secondly, car users and transport companies can promote the effectiveness of car with sharing car strategy. One person drives a car to his company can share his car with others; hence one car can serve more people at a time and reduces energy consumption. This strategy has been applied in Grab from 2018 and showed its effectiveness. In conclusion, the advantages of cars outweigh the disadvantages. As long as people are aware of the adverse effects of cars, they can exploit more benefits and minimize the drawbacks of the car.
Due to the advance of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has played a crucial role in modern life. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
still
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the environment, the benefit it brings is prominent.

Car is an effective transport mean for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
. Travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is faster and safer than other traditional and modern vehicles such as horse, motorbike or bike. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has the seat bells and its shell to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
in a normal accident while horse, motorbike and bike users could expose themselves to the road and have trouble if they fall out.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is flexible to travelling around cities; it can transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
numbers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
time and destination schedule. The travelling schedule of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is flexible due to purposes of drives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
while train or flight have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
time and schedule paths.

On the other hand
, the drawbacks of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
effective ways.
Firstly
, we are reducing the emission from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
by using clean energy
instead
of fuel oil.
For example
, there are several manufacturers and scientists are investigating to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
using Bioenergy, which is renewable and safe energy.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
users and transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can promote the effectiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
with sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
strategy. One person drives a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can share his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
with others;
hence
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
can serve more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at a time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
energy consumption. This strategy has
been applied
in Grab from 2018 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
its effectiveness.

In conclusion
, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
outweigh the disadvantages. As long as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are aware of the adverse effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, they can exploit more benefits and minimize the drawbacks of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
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IELTS essay Do you agree that the advantages of car brings outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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